DEFENDER'S RAP

• It's like being up against a stream, I'm swimming
• Deeper than just being in the D-U-M-P's, to learn how to live with persevering MDD
• Gotta remind myself that it's deep-seated, stemming
• from root causes and the brain's depleted chem'stry
• From since a fetus and a mistreated embry' (oh),
• to blurry gaps in all this lost T-I-M-E
• Fresh outta high-school when I'd cling to hemp leaf, or 22 when I used to binge-drink Jim Beam
• 'Til it'd reach the brim, so I could cease the mem'ries
• Like how you expect someone to seize what's tempo'ry,
• when darkness consumes and inner peace runs empty?
• But don't worry, I moved past my greed for symp'thy
• How I coped with loneliness felt like no one noticed smoke signals from my overheating chimney
• 'Til I imploded had to go see an M.D,
• the antidote was Venlafaxine they'd gimme
• To the highest dose of 150 in mg's,
• the prognosis stands - it don't relieve it simply.
• What's happiness? What's happening is I'm actually trigger-happy 'nuff to wanna squeeze the semi,
• at my temple. Sometimes that shit feels so tempting,
• but I can't afford to go and meet EMTs
• 'Least just lemme be in peace to sleep with mummies
• T-O-M-B raid, I'll Airbnb the cemet'ry
• Do yoga and meditate there, so I can be in alignment..with the mausoleum's symmetry
• Flirtin' Death, drop-dead gorgeous that Reaper's skimpy
• But gotta be honest I would deem it grimly,
• my dick's in the dirt and I can't flee the premises
• They tell me to pray to try and seek out Him, (but)
• Keep attempting they say you'll hear Elohim speak
• Maybe I can't read a God damn Theonym, (the)
• only thing I seem to hear's my demon's mimicry
• Ain't it funny how it sounds so eer'ly sim'ler,
• to the way these hardcore Jesus Freaks contempt me?
• In disbelief of a different niche that remedies
• New light in my life that when my gleam starts dimming,
• I pick up the pen and just redeem by limning
• To release darkness with ease helps ease the limping
• 'Til I'm Ali Shufflin' on my feet so nimbly
• On the upswing out my cocoon floatin' like a, (butterfly!)
• 'til it stings to see that I'm gon' Be his simile
• So count me out or separate me from them, go
• With the flow I'm counting on the BPMs, to
• Get me back up on top of my G-A-M-E
• Cream d'la crèm' P-E-N pusher, check the tier lists
• Contentment comes when every lil scheme's exempl'ry
• And happiness came with every battle rapper I saddened and battered in the meanest imagery
• So moral of the story is fair warnin' I'm a killjoy if you crossin' me as an Emcee