DEFENDER'S RAP

• Take a knife 'n trace my wrists, left to right, just make some slices
• Or just take a gun 'n fire one, straight to my head, make me bleed 'n drop dead
• I got the message, I'm just a mistake, even my best friend would rather take my life away
• Hang me up high, choke me to death, dangle me down from the sky
• I was always my own demise, knowing that, man, I just wanna die
• Call me Chuck 'cause I'm small on the inside, strangle me 'till I die, leave my eyes open wide
• Try to be myself, it don't work, so I see approval, a dumb word
• If I die, put me on display, stab me a thousand times, sing 'n call it a play
• Unleash my demon, kill me already, it's "Open Season"
• Or maybe it's hunting season, it's on a second time
• Track me down 'n kill me, maybe that's how I die
• Try to help others 'cause I can't help myself
• Kill me already, bury me, send me deep down below
• Think of it as a suicide letter, I kill myself, then I paint bloody letters
• I'm under a dark cloud, running in an unstoppable hamster wheel
• Covered in a dark shroud, myself I think of different ways to kill
• I need to be erased from this space, this place knows I'm a big disgrace
• The ways, to die are unlimited, no matter what I do, my dad'll never be interested
• The black dog keeps following me, the shadows keep surrounding me
• I'm like a filled container, but I can't hold or contain anything
• I keep holding the pain, the day my mom got engaged
• And she forgot my Birthday, 'cause she was gambling
• Every time I try, I'm always attacked, criticized
• Trust me when I say I'd rather be there than here
• Depression speaks, then suicide acts, compared to those, I'm just an ant
• The dragon's hovering above me, it spits the fire at me 'n I just fall to my knees
• I just can't slay it, I'm gone, depression has overtaken, I'm wakin'
• To all my regrets 'n all those meds, that's how I lived, I should've just died like this
• I wish I had support, always use Religion for an excuse, my talents are no more
• The knives are dangling above me, just let them kill me already, cut the string for me
• If it exists, I'll never make it to Heaven, lifting my sins, I'm still held down heavy
• I won't be accepted anywhere I go, I won't feel connected, 'cause I'm always on my own
• Guess I'll refuse and take the bull, depression completes me, I'm always full
• I'm made of broken fragments, now I hollow, the pain won't ever crack, guess now I'm whole