BUILDING BLUEPRINT
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Lyrical Analysis of...
Not Backing Down Part 2
- (rapping starts at the time of 0:24 on the beat )
- My love is a masterpiece to thrive in
- within my mind i strive to succeed and drive my dreams
- I stay with in a shell of hope that my rhymes will stay extremely dope
- Cant sleep living out these horror dreams
- Only 13 but I have seen darker things
- Its the start of the equinox
- the time where we leave dark thoughts in a hollow box
- Well these dark thoughts aint never leaving my head
- i feel so alone
- i feel so broke
- my mom dont speak to me
- this aint a home
- im walking to the river
- i dont feel no hope
- i just want to jump in that's not a joke
- i want to drown
- because i always feel like im a two faced clown
- i wish my father never did what he did
- i couldnt get him to pay attention to his four kids
- couldnt go to mom and get help cause she was worse
- everytime i talked to that woman i got hurt
- she was a major curse towards my young childhood
- i would rap to myself cause i was all alone
- when i got home all i heard was my mom moan and groan
- you can guess where my dad was
- he was such
- an ass so much
- he was the rust that formed around the windshield of my life
- when i was 15 years old my father split
- because of the things he cant admit
- when he left my mother sunk into a depression
- all i was left with was a growing aggression
- my anger was uncontrollable
- for my family i was unbearable
- most would say i was intolerable
- feelings now at a high peak and there dragging me down to a place
- where you feel the warmth of the cold, feeling naked and deprived,
- always lied to always had a beat to go to always had a room to be alone in
- receiving 3 letters from a forgetful mother and a text from a absentee father
- wow isn’t this a ironic way to start the path of a warrior
- deliver my message through a courier so I don’t have to shoot the messenger
- but now their dead, regret some things i said to them.
- Life and Death the fate it's always set.
- But I say fuck this. Cause im not backing down.
- Not backing down! You can shoot my body up all over town.
- Fuck im still not backin down!! Not backin down!!!
- I have told you most of my life
- I still don't think you understand
- It isn't the kind of pain I get from a knife
- Even now, your responses are getting bland
- I'm an animal
- So indestructable, I'm inflammable.
- To my enemies I'm like a cannibal.
- I'm magic, better than Dynamo.
- Come sit over here and watch my show.
- My raps are nothin but dope.
- Battle with me? For you man there's no hope.
- I'm a lion bout to kill your antelope.
- Situation is so tense that you can't cope.
- I eat wack rappers
- if they be man or hoe.
- You can try to push me down, yeah keep me low
- But whatever you do you'll never stop my flow.
- Haterz don't affect my head no more,
- So why the hell you even tryin to for?
- Haha, it's comical. I'm fuckin' unstoppable.
- I'll give ya one hit and a trip to the hospital.
- I'm not civil, I'm like Godzilla.
- I'm on 'til the beat stops.
- Clonazepam, i had 3 pops.
- Just wait 'til you see what i've got.
- i say fuck this. Cause im not backing down.
- Not backing down! Shootin my body up all over town.
- Fuck im still not backin down!! Not backin down!!!
- I told you im not backing down!
- thinkin they're all bright
- when all they do is sit around and blight,
- pages, pages, with constant hate,
- no matter who you are,
- feeling disgression as you are,
- the constancy,
- of a proxomite evaluation,
- of my lyrical system which,
- derived from my pure hate,
- for those who had to create,
- feelings, beatings, all the same to me,
- like a burning flame,
- without the warmth and breath,
- We both had dreams of being great,
- but it was not, the feeling not so bold,
- you never knew how it felt,
- where you got bricks thrown from walls,
- tryin to knock you down,
- but all you can do is keep walking,
- the same old empty streets that you walkin',
- living life without fear,
- impossible, these preachers comin at you,
- telling you how to lead your life,
- but fuck you man, go learn the shit yo'self
- before you preach your ass over to my shelter,
- cause thats what it is,not a home,
- a little crummy shit hole,trust me,
- its no fun bein' the only white boy rappin,
- but living life without fear,
- turns the impossible to the possible,
- demolishing, every corner,
- leadin you into the light,
- where they rhyme tight,
- no words can escape the pause,
- in which these bastards applause.
- when you mend your broken mind and find that rap is an obsession
- i think that this confession comes from all of my aggression
- that I created when the doctor understated my depression
- and in this session I refuse to let my mind go over matter
- so i smatter any rapper who is claiming he is badder
- An ill hammer at your cranium until it fuckin shatters
- Wack until I hear a crunch and see some fuckin blood splatters.
- I'm coming at ya for your life man, no rhyme or re about it
- to leave a lasting imprint of my fuckin hand around it
- I'm bounding for the bounty to make sure your label found me
- And I'll lay it on the line to find your rap is so unsoundly
- But I say fuck this. Cause im not backing down.
- Not backing down! You can shoot my body up all over town.
- Fuck im still not backin down!! Not backin down!!!
- but I’m still that 18 year old who stares at a baby picture and says what have I become
- because sometimes I wish I never wrote down a line to go with a rhyme
- wished I never listened to any rappers at any time because now my mind is a time bomb
- waiting to blow everyone away by the passion I dish out and the intelligence
- I give out pain so severe feel like Jesus with the lashes and Pontius with the choices
- stumbling down a hall alone and void of noise until
- I hear the voices telling me you are a victim and you will
- Never be mentioned in any song never going to have a nice house
- and never a wife you can spend on and never a child you can spend time with
- never a friend who will listen to you who will go the distance with you
- never a community who will respect you for what you do never be a real model
- because I don’t need to play no role
- tgray taught me that wish everyone I loved could be brought back into this one room
- so I can tell them the truth of how I feel
- right now because right now I feel like a moderator within 2 opposing factions
- and each one is trying to pull me back and forth thinking I will support their transaction
- yet i don’t even know how to do fractions so tell me now how to be a example of good
- when one person says I don’t do it right and another says you should never try
- and one person says you almost got it right
- and one person says are you out of your mind
- and one person says wow that doesn’t rhyme
- and one person says that doesn’t even make no sense with that line..
- see sometimes I doubt myself of getting
- fame and wealth but see when I grew up a part from myself
- then that means I never knew anything of myself
- so I’m a stranger to my own tears.
- But I say fuck this. Cause im not backing down.
- Not backing down! You can shoot my body up all over town.
- Fuck im still not backin down!! Not backin down!!!
- Inability to master complex rhymes, my game is not refined
- Now that I think about it I might have a God complex,
- Dedication, hard work, and effort, i've fought this far, even if a baud
- went through my veins,what makes you think ill give up now.
- For now on i'm speaking Collaboratively
- I'd do anything to keep my loved ones safe.
- A couple years back I used to be nothing but a complicated waif.
- Ill take your throne, get your ass abdicated.
- Throw your ass over a cliff in a cordillera.
- I may have fear that resides inside,
- but spittin this shit, makes it go away,
- put these lyrics in an array,
- nothin i can do right now, but spit these lyrics and pray
- that one day this pain, this suffering, will all be gone
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