Inner Praises From an Aethiest

i dont know how to explain

the pain , the struggles

they are just a place of mind

no matter how hard i try

it seems like there's a hold over me

my mind is controlled by some inner workings

are there angels and demons

if so i think there might be devils playing

hot potato in my head

cause i want to rage and scream

and put all my rage on this page

but before i can a voice in the back of my head screams

what of the consequence

is it a co-incedence my life was hard like this

or was it an intentional way to get me ready for something beyond

my thinking

eternal father i ask you this

why me

why after everything i worked so hard for

do i get thrown back into the blackness

the eternal abyss

is there truly no escape from this

if so let me start by saying this

i am a dedicated no good do nothing

i am a piece of white trash trying to do something

with my life i do care if i die

i do try with all my wisdom to work hard and write rhymes that

convey a meaning to the mind

i cannot with all reason believe that there is no higher

being then me

looking out for me despite

all the hate in this world i see

i do believe there is a reason to be

or to see the things we go through

and most of all i am stronger because of all ive faced

because of what ive been put through

i thank you heavenly father

for without you

well i dont think i would have a single clue

on how to survive this world and do what i do

I say im aethiest but deep down i have faith in only you