You'd NEVER guess.

i cant say i know how i feel.

i mean, i know how it makes me feel.

but the emotion itself i cannot reveal

my

mind has been flipping and spinning like a cartwheel

I've been

drowning

been clouded, by my own thoughts.

made to hate myself against my own will.

see my depression is like a shadow that won't depart

It's like a heavy weight that's stuck within my heart.

its got me feeling like I'm trapped in a box,

No windows, no doors, just darkness and locks.

what? are you surprised?

don't i come off to u as someone whose happiness is improvised.

I'd say my

skill of acting is beyond outstanding.

 

you'd never guess id be the type of person to

carve my pain into my skin

Blood stains for all my sins

or

try to pop pills hoping the drug that i took kills.

or even

cry myself to sleep, begging God to keep my soul asleep

you'd never guess I'd feel so weak.

 

the feeling of emptiness is like my best friend

always by my side. even though I'm surrounded, it reflects

thoughts of not being wanted.

it was a mistake to be created.

i don't belong here.

all i do is make mistakes

but you'd never guess I'd wanna disappear.

 

fear 's

got a hold on me.

imagine being scared within your own body

cus nobody's

ever been your security, that's what it's like for me.

 

the ones i need the most end up leaving.

and

the ones i love the most went from being

to the ones that i confide in to the ones that i am fighting.

 

why.

why, does it seem like my life is a constant battle,

A never-ending struggle, its unbelieveable.

how

confused and lost i am.

what is my purpose? or has it already began?

cus if so i don't know what I'm doing.

its like I'm freestyling through life with no destiny

running solely off muscle memory.

..but you'd never guess my story.

 

i

fake smiles

and i

make lies

because

i don't want you to know I've been attempting

and i don't wanna be the center of attention.

my anxiety has been a grueling oppression

day and night

night and day.

i wake up and say, i wonder what trick my mind will play on me today.

then the darkness suffocates you and takes your light away.

 

when the walls start closing in and it *gasp* feels like you're not breathing.

hope is lost and all you think about is committing.

the promising thought of everything ending.

the deep waters of peace.... why don't i just jump in.

but you'd never guess the wars i have been fighting.

 

A pretty girl like me,

carries herself so *hand on hip* elegantly.

but if you

look closely, you'll see the cracks beneath disguise

The pain hidden behind the smile, the struggle to stay alive

a girl who, *hands in front mouth* silences her cries

because she

doesn't want to be another burden for you to prioritize

A pretty girl like me, with a mind of substance and quality.

But if you

look beyond the surface

You'll see the scars, the pain, the struggle of never rising

But.

 

You would never guess the walls that I've been climbing.