Trapped in my own mind

Help!! I'm trapped in my own mind.

I don't know how I got in here.

I'm scared.

I can't seem to understand the things in here.

They flash before my eyes.

They all show me things I want to forget.

 

I can run as fast as I can.

But the demons always find a way to catch up with me.

I try to hide, but nothing can hide me from them.

They are ready to rip me limb from limb.

The slower I get, the more bloodthirsty they get.

 

I am so tired of running.

I am growing weaker by the day.

I know I'm lying to myself, when I tell myself that tomorrow will be better.

All these faces I see in my mind.

Some are still alive and some are long gone.

There is one I can't see clearly.

 

I can hear all the ones who never made it, yelling at me.

They are yelling at me to not give up and just die.

They tell me to keep fighting, because they weren't able to.

They tell me to hold on a little longer it'll be over soon.

I want to scream at them to let me be.

But all I can say is okay and I keep my head up and start running again.

 

I start to stumble.

I don't know how much longer I can stand.

I trip on my own pride, I feel like a fool.

I'm down on my knees now.

I can barely stand up, so I get up on one knee.

The demons are almost upon me.

I can feel my heart beating slower.

Slowly the faces of all of those who helped me start to fade away.

But slowly the face that I couldn't see before, starts to become more clear.

I slowly begin to realize who it is.

 

At first I can't believe it.

Then I face the facts and I accept my fate.

But he won't let me.

He screams at me to get back up.

I tell him I can't, he tells me there is nothing I can't do with hard work.

I look him in the eyes and ask him, "why did you have to go away?"

He doesn't answer me , he just keeps telling me to get back up.

I try to look away, but I can't stop looking him in the eyes.

Finally, I give up and I slowly stand back up on my feet.

I start to run again.

I don't know why, but I'm not running because I'm scared.

I'm running to gain the respect of my father.

 

I'm not running from my demons.

I'm running towards them, because I'm done being scared.

I know I've got a long and hard road ahead of me.

People tell me I'm crazy, but I don't listen to them.

Because I've got my eyes set on a goal and I plan to reach it.

I can't help it, but to stop and look back at the road that I've traveled.

I can hardly believe how far I have come.

I know I've got a long ways to go.

I look at the road ahead of me and I can see that is full of obstacles and doors for me to open. Honestly, I don't know if I'm ready to face all that lies ahead of me. I know they say people get challenged every day, but they have no clue what I have faced and what I have to face soon. I tell myself that, if I'm ever going to become something, I've got to let go of my pride and accept the facts. Now I'm sure that I want to find the answers I am looking for and I know I'll have to accept the ones that I wasn't looking for.

I take a step forward and I begin my long and hard journey.