"Still"

Still

When I start writing, start rhyming

About my life; overwhelmed

The whole world hits me like lightenin'

Electricity in my atoms

Send me to another realm; Some couldn't fathum.

Living in these lucid nightmares,

Dreams with night terrors, My mind can get quite frightenin'

Witnessing nightmares become reality,

And still...

Inability to render

Fallacy from reality

Became lost in believing,

The boy got lost in dreaming.

Prayed to any diety

In attempt to plead

Shit... in attempt to flee.

Still

Real homie ... I've been there, Felt alone

No one soul wanted to call me their own.

Calamity devouring my brain, drove me insane

When I rode down memory lane,

Went the wrong way,

Felt my final hour approaching

Mantic, frantic and in a panic

Took what I could've and should've appreciated

For granted...

Still

Good head on my shoulders;

Always had character under my belt.

Always been less about riches,

N More about wealth

But for the record / Note to self

My major down fall started with

True fears that were

Issues of self conflict,

Formed by my own

Complex complexes

And honestly ...

On top of Chemical imbalances

A deficit of happiness and choosing to

Deal with peoples complexes

Letting it effect my messes

Stresses started a hurricane in my

Soul, Mind and

Torn apart

Subconsciously and shit

Reached the tip of the ice burg, cut deep

Started to sink physchologically and shit

Like the titanic; Jack below zero in the

North Atlantic

Still

Didn't recognize what had gotten in

Or even to

Eventually this lead to the epitome

Of my self ruin.

I remember early mournings

Hyping up black n milds, just to cough up mucus

Young and foolish, life or death but who's choosing?

Living scary lucid nightmares after

"Kid Do or Die's" mind became "Kid Suicide"

Life; thought there was nothing to it

Thought it was translucent.

Thought after all these travels

Life was only what I knew it

Pain and confusion was all there was to it

Like I already knew it,

With it accepted, felt the truest

Didn't watch my back for the Judas.

Returned shapeshifting even as Cupid

Seventeen still sobbing in my pillow

On the vurge of throwing life out the window.

My ending was near I was just going to end it

All right there.

Still

I stood standing meek

Slash

Weak, staring blankly

Analyzing the world

Slash

This image

Slash

Figure I feared in the mirror

Making the bad decision

Slash

Incition

Ghost in a shell

Blood running down my arms,

Till this day I wonder if the same scars

Remain on my heart ...

Body paralell to hell

Satan crawling down my throat

That was the closest I've been to

Closing the curtain and ending the show

There wouldn't have been no mending after that,

Straight to the abstract

As cold as it is that's the facts ain't no going back

Still

Commited a personal foul,

Smoke another buddah sack eats some cheesy mac;

Insomniac trying to live his dreams in peace

Sucked up in pandemonium like sodium

In romen noodle packs;

Holding on to love, holding onto trust

Proved to be a good attempt or effort,

But all for what?

Still living gullible with my heart severed,

Not giving a fuck; didn't seem to be benefiting much

Still

I was lost just wanting to be found

Waiting on my dad to come around

To deliever my crown

Or at least see me in my cap n gown

Wanting to smile and not feel it upside down

To me, happiness appears to be just a noun ...

I get it now, I see why when we die

We get put 6 feet underground

To not hear another single sound

Still

Analyzing details in family pictures

Like damn time left out with family

Where'd it go? / If you find it let me

On my path, here I go / Bushido code on my dome

Lone stoned walking the warriors road

Me against the world.

If you didn't; now you know

Face me toe to toe

Blows destroy columns Rows of average Joes

Eenie minnie to moe

No matter how wary,

How harry the situation or

How scary I'll

Still

Carry on till I reach that

Little house on the prarie dream.

Please lord I ask you to help me reach it

I know I can achieve it

I deserve it and I believe it.

All I want is peace,

All I want is a legacy

For me and my family

These are unheard screams I wish not

On my dynasty, whether it be just

My luck inherited through genetic or

Intwined deep in my chromosomes

To each is own

I'm tryna own my own seat at the throne

Trust in the cosmos meanwhile

I'll hold my own

It ain't the end yet but it's a start

To a finish, still young and clueless

I'll Still,

Keep on doing this

Keep mindful wise

Do this as fluent as I know

To can do it

Lord, Above all wishes

Dont let my ambitions deminish.