speak my truth

yeah

what?

turn that shit up

yeah (lemme speak my- lemme speak my truth)

yeah (lemme speak my truth, yeah)

remember I was young and broke, like ten, busy hustlin

said fuck the covenant, otherwise known as

the worldwide belief that the only way to make it out the struggle is to go out strugglin' (yeah,)

said "I'ma make Mama proud, get us a house, way out the way of the gunshots"

said "I'ma make daddy proud, whether he like it or not, make him accept the wealth his son bought"

said "I'ma make everybody regret showin' doubt,"

"cuz I'll run myself all the way to the grave before runnin' out,"

look at this change I get paid

look at these chains, I been paid

look at this rain, double r umbrella,

(I said) I wanted everything,

a house here, a house there, a house far away, so many cribs, baby it just ain't fair

I wanted to be able to make money from anywhere I step, call me a walking fortune

but life ain't no game, and the shit don't end there (yeah...)

Grew up on dreams and these concrete streets, no silver spoon, just the beat in my chest,

Grew up off uncommon themes and dreams that never came true, barely able to pay rent

And I know that even if I scream out my sins, the only true separation from drugs is to repent

And I know that even if I separate myself from the demons inside the pills, who can I depend...

yeah, and I know everybody else had struggles, everybody else had troubles

cuz I pop these tabs every day, unhealthily, got doubles and triples, got couples

of the shit that got so many killed

(yeah) And I know

(yeah) Money and power won't fix this

(yeah) I'll always choose God's shower over bitches

(yeah) keep survivin', but what if I never heal? what if my life never fixes?

(yeah) Maybe life is all a dream, I'm steady countin' the opinions of sheep

(yeah) Insomnia a recurring theme, I can't even sleep

(yeah) Even on their worst day, they couldn't struggle like me

(yeah) What if I told you my life was a lie, it feels like I die every other week (let's go, let's go)

said I wanted power, wanted gold, wanted ice on me, ain't talkin' bout chains

wanted real love, not the fake type that vanish as soon as you change (yeah)

wanted a safe, so big that my kids think it's a hide-and-seek maze

wanted a wraith, with the stars in the ceiling, reflections of days that I prayed

(huh) now look where I came from, came up, got it out the mud, no handouts

(huh) now look how they change up, fake love, tryna dap me up wit’ they hands out

I remember back when they laughed, now I pull up, they look like they seen God

I remember back when I ain't have racks, now I throw that shit like a green card

said I needed everything, more than enough, not just a piece of the pie

said I needed clarity, but all these VVS's fuckin' up my sight (yeah)

said I wanted peace, but I ain't find it in these streets, just found some vice

said I wanted out, but the deeper I get in, the deeper the price (uh)

grew up with hunger pains, never knew a silver spoon, just a stomach tight

grew up in hunger games, tryna make it out without losin’ my life

and I know even if I hold onto my faith, I'm still gon' sin

and I know even if I let go of these demons, I know it will never end

yeah, and I know everybody else had struggles, everybody else had troubles

but I’m still climbing, and only feel like a stunt double

cuz I pop these tabs every day, unhealthily, got doubles and triples, got couples

and even though I climb, the feeling of weight is there, whispering "it won't amount to nothing"

stare at the ceiling, feel like it staring back

all of this money can't buy back the time, can't buy back the past

all of these diamonds can't shine through the dark when the demons attack

all of these houses can't make me feel home when my soul feelin’ trapped

now let me stop lying, these my dreams, in reality I got none of that, no diamonds, no chains

no lambo, no whip to push 280, no VVS', by societal standards, I'm just a lame

but that's the least of my worries, I don't flush no canary yellows, full of piss

cuz even if I had em, I wouldn't be the same, still full of pain

(yeah) And I know

(yeah) Money and power won't fix this

(yeah) I'll always choose God's shower over bitches

(yeah) keep survivin', but what if I never heal? what if my life never fixes?

(yeah) Maybe life is all a dream, I'm steady countin' the opinions of sheep

(yeah) Insomnia a recurring theme, I can't even sleep

(yeah) Even on their worst day, they couldn't struggle like me

(yeah) What if I told you my life was a lie, it feels like I die every other week (let's go, let's go)

now I spill my soul in this song, because I know that I may go soon, my soul fully wasted

my heart poured out in a cup, due to the cup of the juice I continue to drink in

my heart boxed into a bottle, due to the pills that I continue to take in

my heart ripped through by a bullet, from a gun, the drills I said I'd never partake in

yes, I am achin', trying to trash these thoughts, dump the uncertainty in a bin

he asks me to begin, doctor, where do I begin, years of unforced sin

and I know I shouldn't try to rush out of therapy, but it's hard for me to stay in

when every single muscle inside of my body feinds for dope and X, a lethal combination

I need drank, a percocet

I need act, dope, and X

I need morphine, I need crack

It's no use, I have an obsession

Because when you're deep in as I am, there's no use in admitting it

And giving yourself advice, we're past those two steps, as I dance near death

Because when you're as deep in as I am, there's no need to say what you have

To get rid of the problem, I must rid it myself, yeah

And there's no way that I can do this shit alone, I need help, yeah

And I need shalia, and I need ma, and I need dad, yeah

I don't wanna go, I have too much life, found out my talent, yeah

I've got the code, but the lock can't come off without someone to open the cell, yeah

(yeah) And I know

(yeah) Money and power won't fix this

(yeah) I'll always choose God's shower over bitches

(yeah) keep survivin', but what if I never heal? what if my life never fixes?

(yeah) Maybe life is all a dream, I'm steady countin' the opinions of sheep

(yeah) Insomnia a recurring theme, I can't even sleep

(yeah) Even on their worst day, they couldn't struggle like me

(yeah) What if I told you my life was a lie, it feels like I die every other week (let's go, let's go)

(I could never fold, I'ma speak my truth)

(I could never fold, I'ma speak my truth)

(I could never fold, I'ma speak my truth)

(I done got too bold, I need you to see that too) (yeah I know...)