Myself

so how do i start this off

 

i hate myself

 

i cut myself

 

i drink with friends

 

but end up by myself

 

i skate with friends

 

but im technically by myself

 

everything i do is for me whether if its good or bad

 

whether if it makes me happy or sad mad glad a dad, a bad person

 

a good person

 

either way its for me

 

and people have failed to see that i dont really give a damn

 

if its not for me then its not for me Damn

 

Hey you should...

 

aye its not for me

 

hey you ever thought about..

 

no thats not what i want to be

 

I wanna wake up every morning and be happy like everyone else but

 

first i have to start with myself

 

 

i have to change the way i act, the way i feel, hell i should probably

start by paying my phone bill so i can learn some communication skills.

 

But idk i feel like im doing that for other people and not myself

 

cause in the end who's gonna be burried in the casket with me

 

in the end who's really with me?

 

in the end whos really with me? Oh how dare i even ask that, oh mazda remember all those times we'd smoke you down in your hatchback

or that time you stole my hat and i didn't even ask for it back .

 

yea i remember

 

i also remember the times when i was high and you left me there to cry

when i was getting all suicidal and said oh god mazda did you start

your cycle? youre a pycho, youre a attention whore Like really bitch

calling me an attention whore just

because im sharing my feelings, do you know what im dealing with?

 

fuck you go suck a dick.

 

every other day is a new conflict with you.

 

Im leaving for good and there's nothing you can do

 

Im doing this for myself

 

cause your stressing me out

 

You're cutting me out

 

youre the reason why im cutting myself

 

youre the reason why im drinking

 

youre the reason why i can't think

 

youre the reason why my nose is bleeding over the sink

 

damn

 

i did this to myself for you so you can see this as a cry for

help

 

and now you think you did nothing wrong, but when i get to heaven im gonna make sure you burn in hell and when i hear you crying begging for mercy,

 

im gonna watch you and smile and wave

 

smile and wave

cause im insane in the brain

 

this is great

 

this is fate

 

im finally fine that we never had the chance to date

 

because im finally realizing youre everything i hate.

 

oh man its late

 

i gotta get going

 

i gotta get to sleep

 

 

not because im crying but because im doing this for myself

 

this is the first time i didn't cry for help

 

this is something i have never felt

 

this is the best feeling ever

 

i did this for myself

 

i killed you cause i didn't wanna see you get hurt by someone else

 

i did this for myself

 

i did this for myself

 

Welcome to my hell of caring too much to the point where people think you're crazy, where people have to taze me, where people get so

annoyed with me they start to erase me.

 

then when im temporarily happy they act like they never have phased me, You mother fuckers are lucky we dont have the technology to

make a laser beam, cause i'd put it thru your fuckin head till your dead

till you're no more, leave your soul for freddy, knock knock,

1 2 freddys coming for you to hang you by your shoes. now there's

really nothing you can do.

 

Oh god, oh my, im high, and my imagination has gone wild

 

 

or has it cause im saying everything right now like i planned for a while

 

with a smile i go cause im doing this for myself, when it really comes

down to me really doing this, i gotta remind myself im doing this for

myself

 

cause i dont wanna see you get hurt by someone else. im doing this

for myself

 

now before i really do it, help me kick this stool so i can hang myself