Every Day

Every day is the same process. It gets pretty boring.

I wake up from my dreamless night. Maybe I was snoring.

Holy fuck, it's two o'clock PM. The day is wasted!

Nah, I go to grab my phone. Check the notifications.

Nothing. No texts, or calls, or plans, or likes, or alerts.

It's upsetting, but I don't complain. I don't get butthurt.

I stay in bed and grieve my future as my feet touch ground.

Should I eat breakfast? In a year, I haven't gained a pound.

Whatever. Slide some shorts on, apply deo, wake the dogs,

step out my bedroom. I want some Hot Fries. Nope, ate them all.

Ugh, I have no life. Sit on the couch, press the remote.

I do this every morning. I reminisce on my own.

Ehh. It's not too bad, I guess. HBO free for two weeks!

Sweet! I hit the record button forty-four times at least.

Now I just wait... or I can go visit my laptop.

Flip it open, visit RapPad. Did I get a rap prop?

No? Okay. Someone voted on my battle, though.

Still pretty cool! I go to get some water and Mio.

Mix it up, flavor flows. Man, what a delight.

I queue tracks from Eminem and Run The Jewels on Spotify.

Before I play them, I'm not gonna eat. So, I brush my teeth.

Come back, my flavored water tastes terrible. I can't believe

I thought it would still seem savory after swigging mint #toothpaste.

Now to #just #wait for the #aftertaste to vanish. Felt like #two #days

until I could continue to value my beverage again.

Then I played my hardcore hip hop to side with my refreshment.

Pick up my phone, all I see's a bunch of couples on these apps.

I can point out many flaws these guys possess which I don't have.

Now my self-esteem is scarce. What should I do to bring that up?

Maybe make an entertaining video on Insta.

Damn, not enough #space to #tape what I wished to #create.

So, I fire my phone at the wall. It #belabors and #breaks.

#Great, now I'm #doomed to #prove myself to the #loons at my #school.

I'm such a #fool. What will I #do to talk to girls? This isn't #cool.

Thought I was antisocial before. Not to mention my mom will kill me!

I really fucked this up. Oh my God. I'm already flipping.

It's not like I could resuscitate it. Nothing I can do now.

My life is just pointless like my second rap that's about how

nothing I ever say or do will affect anyone at all.

Maybe it is about time to let life have its last call

I #begin #ascending and #transition my #position to the #kitchen

so, from humanity, I #can #distance my #existence. #Listen.

#It's #an awful thing when you decide take your own life.

I venture to the counter and grab hold of a trenchant knife.

I #hug #it #firmly with my fist. It #doesn't #hurt #me quite just yet.

I rethink everything on my brain. I don't go through with it

because it'd mark the final physical feeling I'd be faced with.

So I want to make the last one count. Not something really basic.

I want it to last, like Stride or 5 gum in a Gobstopper

or moistening my eyeballs with acid inside an eyedropper.

So I go to my shed, outside. Scavenge to find some rope.

I find a hefty lariat. This should work, I hope.

I'm such an idiot, I don't know how to knot a #noose.

Searching on #YouTube for a #tutorial on #loops.

Alright, I think I got it. #Oh #my #the #time #flew #by fast!

I better go through (with) this before my parents come back.

I sprint to my room, close the door, grab a chair,

fix the rope on the fan, 'cuz I no longer care.

Do I really have to do this? I wonder one more time.

Of course, it's the only way to take the pain off my mind.

Shove my head in the opening, and adjust the size.

Finally, kick the chair. I have met my demise.

 

 

 

 

Sweat in my bed sheets, terror fills the room.

It was just a bad dream. Look, my clock says 2!

It's the middle of the night this time. I never get nightmares.

My heartbeat is still rapid, but it's over with so who cares?

I might as well get up now. But, God, was that realistic.

I will not kill myself. That's a time bomb that will not tick.

This kind of thing does not happen often, I must say.

Now I need a shower, I shall take a different route today.