A Coward At Night

This weight is tremendous, i drop it in my sentence/

relieve the burden hurting into new investments/

gotta shrug it off, but i can’t because it haunts

gotta cut it off but I've got a dozen wrongs

they just keep growing, i must be sowing

these seeds that are bloating, and keeping me from floating

the ocean’s where my home is, gotta keep afloat if/

i don’t wanna end up choking on the motion of the boat i’m in

 

pulled to defeat, getting cold in the deep

i look above and see two soles of feet.

My soul isn't cheap, but i sold it for cheap/

now I'm holding a piece of the whole that i seek

 

I'm asking you to throw me it, the anchor not a saving ring/

Aiming for the bottom, i don’t want nobody saving me

But then again I’m reaching for a hand to hold me calm/

More specifically a hand with holes in the palms

I’m aching for the majesty, but witnessing a travesty/

The evil that is grabbing me wants to set Barabbas free

So why try fighting, why am I writing?

Why am I inciting the side of me that’s hiding?

Poking it with loneliness, throwing it a bone to pick

Holding it and molding it, no one is controlling it

Serving one master, the Bastard of the Rapture

Wolf of the Pasture, foe of the pastor

 

I need to see the light before i flee into the night/

break free of these delights, feed peace into my sight

Someone cut away these scales' subtle weight

I fail to run away, my tail is tucked away

If only written songs could be keeping me strong/

I wouldn't need to belong with the weeds in the lawn.

The parasites scared of light, running from the fairest fight/

They're inside and terrorize the stare in my parents' eyes.

 

..around the time, the hour is at height

I'm begging God for sleep as a coward in the night.

Cuz sleep brings sorrow, sleep brings tomorrow

sleep is borrowed but we keep it for our own.

I never touch the pavement, i live inside the basement

of places my brain rents, away from the sane end

...I run away, until the sun of day/

doesn't stay..that's when you know I'm gonna pray