My Struggle

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Lord I'm not going to try to understand anything you do.

why you allowed my wife to leave me and come up to you.

all I know is I'm starting to trust you completely,

but Jodi was the definition of words you complete me.

my heart is hurting so much right now but I know that it's healing,

my feelings are peeling and I'm kneeling so I don't begin unfeeling.

I feel your love reeling me n your temple surely caught me,

but the net that you uuuuused to pull me in reallymade me hot see.

its yatzee my game is over I live for Michael now.

But people say you'll find a way to insert another love somehow.

can't see it, to tough to follow that class act she was on the level.

a gentle vessel of cheers smearing smiles off demons & the devil.

she was your soldier here on earth , you know down in the rubble.

always ready to lend a hand to anyone in trouble.

I'm upset that she's been taken but I..........can understand why,

you needed your top angel back in heaven, to help the by and by.

 

Chorus: i really miss you girl, this is my struggle.

to love your memories and listen to the Lord and not cause any trouble.

I know you're in heaven now, and there's nothing I can do.

cept be the father that I need to be for Michael so the next time we

meet I'll here I'm proud of you. (x2)

 

now at school guys were paying attention to the quiet, more

reserved girls.

the kind that will give you something if you know what I mean for

maybe a set of pearls.

While guys were wastin time credit

bills climbin and climbin.

guys saw a lump of coal & I scooped her up & inside was a diamond.

yep yep that's right, I got the genuine article.

I swooped up the number 1 pick like I had the scoop from the

Oracle.

But then Cancer came, ravaged your body and I got down,

feeling like Tyson got me in the stomach and I got knocked down.

I couldn't breath when they said, "There's nothing more we can do".

and we couldn't do anything but you lookin at me and me lookin at you.

but now I see that I was given a gift. Its so obvious I didn't deserve you

in all your perfectness.

you were sent to show me love in a manner that nobody could,

stood beside me during my cancer fight as nobody would.

Maybe your purpose was to make sure I continued on for Michael .

But I'm afraid that your death will leave me alone and spiteful.

But now, all that's left are memories, ashes and rubble.

And again I say to you all, Hello and welcome to my struggle.

 

Chorus:

 

Well well, yo it's just me and my son, we're all alone now.

Everybody out there... telling me it's gonna be a hard road now.

Feels like my hearts been ripped out of my chest and flushed down the

commode now.

And now.... I gotta wallow through the crap to find my heart somehow.

But I'm strong, I'ma man, I'll make it through the heartache somehow.

Maybe someday I'll date again and find another you somehow.

Maybe I'll get my life back and find myself another use somehow.

But at this moment, All I can think about is you you you right now...

My son and I have been dealt one crappy hand,

Like writing the answers to the universe in the underwater sand.

Like trying to sing a Bon Jovi song without the use of the band.

Like loving your job and what you do there and one day just getting canned.

I keep looking up to the heavens asking the Lord what do I do now,

The pain is horrible and for Michael I gotta make it through somehow.

And as I pray the Lord pulls the pain up out of this man.

In a fashion and manner that only He the Good Lord can.

I appreciate everything and am sorry if I caused any trouble.

And it seems that with help, I may make it through my struggle.

 

Chorus: