“What If?”
• Written by NickGrass
What if? What if? What if? What if? . . .
I love creating; but, there’s a constant debating
Instating I find a dream that’s worth chasing
Slaving over work and I’m gathering savings
Wondering what if it is not worth paying?
What if this? And what if that?
What if I choose a path and I want to go back?
It seems likely with the internal attack
I face nightly before I’m hitting the sack
What if I never get back my confidence?
What if I am gaining more monstrousness?
What if I’m just losing my own competence?
Until the point of losing consciousness?
What if I never really grow up?
What if I reach my goals, and choke up?
Why do I always feel so stuck?
What if I just want to hold up?
My mind says one thing, my heart says another
I’m trying to organize this big clutter
To find a way to get my druthers
To keep my outlook away from the gutters
Halfway between anxiety and depression
Especially with all of the continuous testing
I do my best to learn every lesson
In the end, I still feel that I’m guessing
Two little words never hurt more
Guess I better just close the door
Once last time they are coming forth
What if I’m never gonna cure?
What if this curse never desists?
What if I’m always in the midst of this?
What if? What if?
What if? What if?
Wishy-washy and non-committal
While trying to be my own individual
Yet also trying to remain fully identical
How did I get by with being so critical?
As I undergo changes while I’m aging
There is an increasing of the internal aching
There’s a constant degrading and deflating,
A debilitating stream of self-hazing
You should’ve done this, you’d better do that
You’ll never get that wasted time back
Keep working until steamed-rolled flat
Maybe you might get a chance to hold tact
Honestly my mind has gone to pieces
Picking apart thoughts never ceases
Inner peace gets further from my reaches
Trying to listen as my better preaches
What if am a little bit aggravated?
These two words will only exacerbate it
Getting the whole point exaggerated
While I’m trying to satiate it
Though I may sound hollow and specious
Please don’t find my message facetious
For so long, I’ve gone speech-less
Two little words never hurt more
Guess I better just close the door
Once last time they are coming forth
What if I’m never gonna cure?
What if this curse never desists?
What if I’m always in the midst of this?
What if? What if?
What if? What if?
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About the Artist
NickGrass
Member since March 20 2015