Cold.

I guess right now you be feeling just fine, I guess right now you be hitting that girls line, I guess right now I just need some sign, cause I know and you know that I’m not fine.

I guess I really really thought you coulda loved me, but no, all you ever did was break me. I still love you and probably always will, you were my first love and that love I can’t refill. I haven’t heard from you, you haven’t heard from me, I guess now that’s how life’s supposed to be, I bet your hearing these rumours about me, that I’m the bad one, but it was you, you didn’t see. I didn’t even know what to expect from you, you changed sides every day when I wanted the truth, you played me over and over like a board game, but I know some people never really change.

You even said you told your mum about me, was that a lie? Cause she would never hate me. You even told your dad and said they kicked outta the house, but no son would ever be so happy with these doubts. I’m someone’s daughter and that’s what you never realised, cause I felt like dying when I was told those lies, you looked at me with them sweet eyes knowing you were gonna leave me as a surprise.

That day, yeah it was the worst. You really hurt me by saying those words. All you ever knew was how to play me, you put into your brain that that was how you’re supposed to be. But that day, I cried and cried, it was my birthday, when you lied and lied. You said it wasn’t gonna work out, and then I had even more doubts, I heard that you got engaged, was that a lie too coming from your dirty face? And now I think, you should have told me at the start, that you’re a cheater and that you have a stone heart. You sent her dirty pictures even though you knew that they were dirty bitches, why can’t you tell the truth? It was me, what did I do to you? I sat there and all the times told you the truth. I always hear people rapping about their ex, and now I’m trying it, cause you went and had sex. You’re a cheater, but no one believes it, everybody’s like ‘believe him’.

Well, you’re sorry? They have told me that, why can’t you say it to my face, why can’t you mean it in your heart? Someone’s told me you wana come apologize, why don’t you come say it and look me in the eyes? Oh, now you’re scared huh? You have icky feeling in your heart huh? I had that for so long, imagine how I really felt, I kept a smile on my face and disguised myself, I kept saying I was fine and when I did, I wanted to be alright but I hid. Hid from all the people, hid from mum and dad, I didn’t wana be known as the girl who was sad. So I tried, tried to commit suicide, cause this journey, it was a stupid life. But I get it now, you wanted to be gone, same with me because I’m finally done.