Mama

Dear Mama,

Borrowed the beat from Pac, to drop, these raw thoughts,

Bout our relationship, and Hating it, rough as a teen,

Didn't get it, didn't understand, thought you was being mean,

I was the oldest, the boldest, tough for you to roll with,

Not easy and you, told me that,

And I did nothing but, fucking fight back,

So I think back, feel bad, and move on,

But I cant, so, I put it in a song,

As I ran the streets, stealing shit, altercations with police,

Never realized that you needed me,

Suggestions never heeded, we,

Thought we knew it all, said fuck school, smoked and played ball,

You saw my potential, saw me fall victim to the false call,

Crying out, wishin I would listen,

But I didn't, pushed my lifestyle with persistence.

Felt like the fuckin victim, yet thats where you were sittin',

Now please, listen to my explanation,

It wasn't easy, so I'll paint the causation,

Daddy gone, had an impact, so strong,

So wrong, for too long, blew my shit up,

Like a fucking bomb, started smoking on the hella strong,

Sought to alleviate, my pain, herb helped me to meditate,

Get gone, forget about trying to be a man, not for long,

No guide to help me along, pressure in the home,

drugs help to take the pressure out my dome,

And I know, I'm a clone, story told before, I ain't the only one,

Don't change, the feelings that I had so I ripped the bong,

Cracked a brew, forgot about life,

Forgot who's who, forgot the fucking strife,

Man life, was fucked, cut me up, like a fucking knife,

Might sound like I'm bitching, but it was so hard, sad nights,

Seeking motivation lost, pressure for a kid who was smart,

Reminded, constantly arrived at, conclusions I was losing,

Life running away, why try anyway, surrender was my mind state,

So I grabbed a new slate, Michigan my new state,

My success became my new take,

Opportunities like leaves, watch me start to rake,

So Mama let me break it down, I acted like a fucking clown,

The behavior came back around, brought me way down,

And I know you wanted nothing be to teach me, and you got burned,

See I couldn't be taught, I had to learn to learn,

And I did, and it took some time, knowledge I had to earn,

and I'm getting there, I now understand,

The root of all your concern, and it's too late,

But relationship wise, I think we okay,

Now my whole life, heading up, turned like a roundabout,

And I'm sorry and I mean it, this song is my heart's sound

I wish it hadn't took so long, but I mean it Mama,

No more conflict, no more mean drama,

I got my life turned around, I hope you see it Mama.