As God is my Witness

Give me a second I need to think.

I need to seek God ,but it's like recently it seems to be

That Gods a facade.

Not so awesome and what not

I have many problems involved that needs some solving

Resolve everything that I've got.

I thought that if I got on my knees, pleaded and screamed

Your name in a scene where it's seen that I need a rock.

So I'm not knocked on the hard top crying,

Realizing my life's been so traumatizing

I don't want to be alive and finally meet you face to face

With haste I make a decision in my brain to think.

I'm a waste I ain't

Worth anything, with hate and angst

I made my fate in this day you made

By grabbing a blade to place

On my wrist..God I hate to say

"He made you in his image"

But when I look in the mirror of a sinnin dimwit

With no intent of living, as God is my witness.

I got to be finished

With the life that I'm living

I need to be thankful of this life that I'm given

But I can't with my eyes in any sight of distance

See to think that if I say a prayer, how it's not wasted air.

I can't stand to bear my pains and terrors, I'm not staying here.

I hate it here, I feel so degraded there.

We both know I don't deserve anything worth forgiveness

Ima menace with my life's canvas showing all this resentment

Negative imagery my thoughts are giving me got me twisted.

Got me demented, Lord in all your glory why can't my soul be lifted.

I need some assistance to get a transition

Where death isn't listed as the first to check off my wish list.

I need to reach Ascension

If that means committing

Self murder if that what's the independent

And this pennin my minds dimensions to mention the endless afflictions

I carry and bear got me inhaling barely any light air

I'm weary with no insight,care, dreary with my nightmares

Silence is my right hand, my likeness is the twilight sphere

That's alone in the night, clear its gonna end when dusk must introduce the light sphere.

The rhymes in these lines are combined with what my mind might hear

Out of sight, where they approach like a thief in the night dear.

I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel

I'm caught in the whirlwinds of a tentrum of funnels.

My hurtin is a pension of trouble

Where I'm assuring myself endin the struggle.

I'm so against me its doubled.

"If a house is divided, how can it stand ?

That's why I'm out fightin, demanded with hands.

To inch out of these ways I'm stranded in