Living the way im living

When i first started writing this i couldnt think of a title

i kinda thought to put shit together like all them others do

i feel kinda exhausted with the way im living

this back and forth got me sorta tripping

trapping in the streets thinking im getting extra pesos

when really im getting shit stuck and blocked up in my nose

im annoyed at the world and i guess its my fault

cant write poetry nomore and cant sing slow songs

im reckless behind the wheel and moms thinks im lost

went to church the other day and this is what i brought

i brought shame to the house of the lord i was enraged

i was wilding at the thought my life couldnt ever change

i was talking to the lord like god give me some plans

and he answered with a i cant change unless you believe

and i do but word rounf the street is im the plug

im sick of all these adolescents asking for drugs

im tired of all this shit up in my nose it aint a bug

i cant kill it or heal myself change comes within time

its all a tug, push and shove all these btiches out my life

take out all the sin and watch me drive down a happy route

you think im tripping well im not im spitting shit straight from the heart

and if you dont like it then too bad these baby rhymes done got me far

im rapping simply cuz its my escape im not a retard

i know this shit wont take me far and as for my son

dont ask hes my pride my life my rock

im choling in my guilt that i lie to myself

i tell myself im worthy but slip up in sight i got no right

no right to be living but if i die who am i kidding

momma would be stuck sister would be fucked

girlfriend would be crying and my son would be sighing

im lying all this dying shit aint for me.

im too scared to hurt these ppl mane my whole family

im the laugh in midst the crying

im the joke in midst the lying

im the one they see walking and im alwayys fucking smiling

so here im writing im writing cuz this shit has run my mind

i been reading other lyrics like damn the mysteries undone

but im tired of closing in and hoping one day ill learn to live

find a job and help out mom, maybe move out and buy my son

all the necessary, im living off momma now you see

ill explain, the bullshit came from all the streets

so if its the way you living you must be following me

or am i you, i dont know just know its gotta fucking change

cuz these streets and ever letting you breathe without an inhaler

you think im lyiing well ask me now dont ask me later cuz

most likely ill die, get locked up or forget to lie and be fucked

its the only way it ends and as for me im sorry to say

but my story has reached its climax

the time card is still punched in i cant punch out

systems broken i gotta get out and leave it to god

to fix the mac because if i stay another minute best believe

my over time will turn me black