Help

No matter how much I smoke, no matter how much i drink

All this bullshit gets to my head and makes me think

Like what would life be like without all this stress

I feel like a pawn in some twisted game of chess

feel like I took a shotgun blast to the chest

then I look at my squad and realize I'm truly blessed

Cause they're my only friends, keep them all and fuck the rest

I just want to leave, maybe go somewhere west

All these thoughts runnin through my head just make me more depressed

But that wasn't how I was raised, wasn't raised to get blazed or raised to be staged

I was raised to work through my problems without praise

I just don't want to be that kid to be openly disgraced

I feel like I myself am a disgrace

take a blunt hit and just got lost in space

Cause that's the only time that things seem fine

When I'm fucked up or stoned outta my mind

go to a party and front like I'm all happy

pop another pill and roll until I'm laughing

When on the inside, i feel like an abyss

to society i'm just a menace

to my parents i'm just a virus

goin out to parties and smokin the devils lettuce

(Chorus)

I watched my aunt pass away

watched my cousins hide away as i pour up a glass of Chardonnay

dealin with insanity like it's a fuckin joke

get depressed and pour up a rum and coke

i just pray to god that i don't ever choke

never let me give up and never let me withhold

all of these emotions eat at me inside

i always bit my tongue and I just sighed

now i feel like i'm insane

enter into my ill mind and you'll be shown real pain

fuck all the fame and fuck all the money

i just want to spread my message cause this shit ain't funny

all the kids battling depression or suicidal thought

i just want to let em know it's okay to be flawed

but don't try to take your life

what about your future wife

it doesn't always need to be strife

just know that someone loves you and put down that fuckin knife