what's the meaning

I can't fuckin help it, I just feel so helpless,

like everything i worked for was burnin now its melted,

the pain I fuckin felt it from all the shit I've dealt with,

it makes me wanna take my life and turn around and sell it,

no one else to go to, other then the voices,

they tell me to do music and block out all the noises,

yes i do enjoy it but this shit is my poison,

life's more unpredictable, then a fuckin coin flip,

it likes to play tricks on ya', messin with your mind,

one minute you feel hopeless, the next minute your fine,

drown myself in booze, cigarettes, drugs and lies,

take a good look in my eyes, you can tell I wanna cry,

you can tell I wanna die all this bottled up inside,

someone please show me a sign, that imma be alright,

someone hold me in the night, better fuckin hold me tight,

imma head towards the light, cuz im over with this pointless fight,

despite, all the shit that i went through just to get here,

after scribblin bars i go to bed and i just shed tears,

all the pressure people gimme you can say im fed fear,

swear to god i must be psychic i can tell the ends near,

there's gotta be a way to put a stop to all this madness,

life's a bad disease, better hope that you don't catch it,

if i had the choice i would go back and just pass it,

build a fuckin legacy and then you turn to ashes,

there's really nothin to it, other then survivin',

but in the world we live in we ain't livin' we just dyin',

no matter what your tryin' the problems keep on pilin',

we were built with limits that's exactly what the sky is,

i think of this shit all the time tryna' figure out the meaning,

what is it that we're seeing? what the fucks a human being?

why do we have feelings? why is life so not appealing?

there's no one to look up to, so why the fuck we kneeling?

I'm lookin down the road away's, it appears im going straight,

but im hittin' every bump as soon as i stormed out the gate,

there's no other way to go so this the route i have to take,

instead of thinking what i'll make, im just thinking how i'll break,

low self esteem its what happens when you miserable,

going through depression so my dreams no longer visible,

guess i should quit bitchin cuz, every journey's difficult,

it can't be that simple though, no, i wont let it go,

i ain't gonna kick back and act like nothings happened,

i ain't going back to school not giving up on rapping,

i didnt do all of this to see how long it lasted,

i did all of this because i really thought i had it,