Queen Crucial

In Another state of mind, Enlightened by another kind.

Always stayed behind to decypher the minds.

The divines,just shine over my crimes.

Read between the lines, Met death too many times.

Seen the good side just shatter and decline.

My body is dead, but mind is clear.

Angels and demons, feeling submlime to fear.

Straight out hell, but feeling nothing near.

I'll curse you with eternal time.

Stab your heart and just leave you behind

He never forgets, Purges memories in death.

Forgiveness is a theft, nothing left, you regret.

Tryna kill me, and I laugh at your threats.

Tryna hurt me, and I put you to test.

Running lost, wet in sweat, panic in the breath, scared of death

running like a maniac lost in the streets.

Your reality is what? what no one believes.

You've gone mad by a psychological disease

Beware of that eye that always sees.

I make you bow down to your naked knees.

A wicked fate for the one that soon desease

But you choose this, and I'm in your head, and you lose it.

Soul and stone, I'm ready to infuse it, soulgem I already use this.

Constantly being told i'm not good enough

always wishin' my actions could be undone

maybe then my mouth wouldn't be a place for a gun

just trying to make it easier for everyone

people say the pain will eventually go away

but i'm ready to make it stop today

anger and misery is all I can convey

so why should I continue the delay

feelin' like I have no other choice

I'll never be one whos able to rejoice

cause i'm stuck with this fucking head voice

why endure when I could be dead

feelin' like i'd have more use on a test bed

might as well before I put a bullet in my head

Told myself i'd never go down her path

but right now i'd rather be in an acid bath

just to escape this wrath

these thoughts are finally startin' to consume

her brains blown out in our bedroom

alls I have now is a fucking heirloom

i'm ready to just be in my tomb

pissed off she left me in this catastrophe

forcin' me into chastity

leavin' me thinkin' only blasphemy

I gave up on God

started thinkin' he was a fraud

He left me feelin' alone

giving me thoughts of chuggin' acetone

or poppin' a hundred methadone

anything to get this pain over quick

much more an ima get sick

i've already done all the arithmetic

there's no reasons to survive

why stay alive when I could set myself aside

tell everybody goodbye and just commit suicide

feelin' like I wouldn't be missed

and as the pain persists

I take my place on Death's waiting list

nobody can convience me otherwise

they don't see the world through my eyes

they're enjoyin' life, while i'm waiting for mines demise

praying for somebody to burglarize mine

because evidently I don't have the takes

no matter how much my heart aches

I can never pull the trigger

even though it'll lead to my vigor

I just grab the scissors

push them against my arm

and endulge in self-harm

people say that makes me a freak

and they call me weak

but they've always been gifted

while i've been afflicted, addicted and restricted

they don't understand their luck

view my life and they'd be thunderstruck

left speakin' stupid like Daffy Duck

maybe then they'd understand why I don't give a fuck

I don't see a point to care

if they say life is unfair

why should I play a game I can't win

If I didn't even choose to begin

all this shit is starting to wear thin

ima end up in a fuckin' loony bin

but that's not where I belong

I'm not crazy, just had pain prolonged

and I can't stay strong

so I decide to just crave

i'm done being a slave

I give eveyone a final wave

I give in to my substanace abuse

just let loose and grab the noose

After I step off the chair

people swear they always cared

say they'll put me in their morning prayer

but they don't understand

this shit wasn't unplanned

I put problems in my own hands

and finally got what I demand...