Still Standing (EDIT)

I feel like I'm just lost n' tossin an turnin, frosted over still burnin'

yearnin for somethin greater, soul searchin in this dull hole full a haters

An indicator that this world is not what it seems, not for me, vision blurred

Stings cause it had the nerve to splice my last nerve, wow,

Twice now I've sunk to the bottom *kerplunk* the sound of my rottin body droppin

Used all the strength I've got n', stuck watchin, plottin my next move

findin my groove, time to choose what path to take, what I have at stake

you do the math while I sit here and fuckin masturbate,

while everyone fucking laughs at the raps I make,

wake n' bake, for god's sake hoping this is all a dream

that it's not fake, and tomorrow instead of drowning in my sorrows I gleam

And get a chance with these rap rants in my hands to redeem my torn self-esteem

I'll then be reborn livin vivid in the chants of my fans,

Dancin, dashin, prancin, and laughin cause my plans aren't chrashin

I can finally make a statement about our mental fashion without receivin a verbal lashin

Babblin in my journal I finally ain't travelin this fucking circle, no longer feelin hurtful

Dealin with fright in a bright light like I'm nocturnal,

rarely seein, barely breathin turning purple, But I'm still standin...

Still standing with my feet firmly planted, Granted I was never fully stranded,

I'll never understand why I felt so abandonedMy childhood wasn't bland n' I'll tell you firsthand

I wasn't raised a dumb little ass though, branded a son of middle-class folk,

wrote, spoke like a normal human, still perceived different

Maybe I'm late-bloomin, a newly received shipment,

concealin a brilliant bewitchment feelin resistant

Wonderin why everyone's so persistent thunderin in telling me what to do,

what to say, who knew, I'd still be standing here today

I almost ended it all, I almost fuckin hung a rope n' let all 150 pounds fall

Jesus what a fucking close call, I don't give a lil shit if no one believes this ill spit raw

Cause in the long haul you'll remember these lyrical pictures I draw

An ember burned right through the center of the spherical sinners thought

Just be careful when you're caught standing at the edge in distraught

Remember you're lucky to be standin at all, Remember we're still standin...