broken
• Written by smutsthedirt
//Ive been up for three days now ,And im just starting to go sober
//The depression start creeping up and my mind starts to wonder
//Im in a dark place again , and im just
Trying to make a difference, but only making mistakes
Trying to feel at home, yet im only feeling displaced
Im not alone inside my mind, I think im going insane
It doesnt matter its all sleepless nights , disgracefull days
Gotta try to change my ways to save the remains
Before i get held down by life so i cannot escape
Got plenty of friends but still im just feeling useless
Cant even help them out without loosing my future
Ive got to many problems , far to few solutions
Far to many brothers stuck in instututions
Yet im the one feeling down , paradoxal confusion
Night and day ,all i see is faceless empty illusions
Jigsaw shaped fractions of my mind , falling into place
In fourth grade my mom ran out of time, and this new wave
Of emotions never felt before rise from deep inside
Was this all she was destined for? Why did she leave me behind?
Shrink explained it with lies , and thats when i changed
i shut down completely and i started saving up pain
It killed myself mentally until an empty shell remained
Filled it with nightmares , hated myself and felt betrayed
Eventually time made it fade, but it didnt last long
It definitely pushed me towards a life full of wrong
When i was fifteen i started moving drugs for a crew
Got a gun to match my attitude of fuck all of you
Went up the ranks faster then i ever could had known
Even got a new family , i was no longer alone
Our reputation grew rapidly but little did i know
I was gonna get this broken from running this damn show
//This is all just echoes of my past , im actually scared of my questions
//Im not used to feel fear but i cant help to wonder
//If she was still alive, could she really love me after all ive done?
//Would i be able to look her in the eyes? man i dont know but
I know i would rather face a million fucking thugs
Then to bring disgrace to the only one i ever loved
Wish i go to heaven when i die, but only to see you
I know u been watching me when i cry, i can feel you
Its like your hand is whiping my tears away
Its like you understand every mistake that i ever made
When im high i can actually remember your voice
I know it aint right but its not like have a choice
I need you close , chasing you is chasing my overdose
Now you know the reason why but its still not right i know
Im really trying to change , be a better person in all ways
you know me better then anyone, i dont have to explain
Got people in my backyard sceming on my head
Cant bealive i made it this far , im supposed to be dead
Rappers bragging about my life but they dont know shit
I need some time how to figure out a plan to go legit
Money stacked up, i dont need to work anymore
Thought i would be happy but my heart is still to sore
I will walk out of this life soon , eaither dead or alive
If i dont get killed by anyone else its gonna be suicide
// i miss you mom , even though i cant really remember you
// i talked to you alot in my mind over the years
// rest is peace mother , i love you anyway
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About the Artist
smutsthedirt
Member since October 25 2015