The Snoop Chronicles Pt. 1

after all this crazy stuff I've been in

i honestly don't know were i should begin

maybe i should start off with when i was nine

i thought i was worthless and wanted to end my life

as i slowly held the knife upon my throat

my brother walked in, and i thanked god, he thought it was a joke

immediately, my lil bro started saying "stop it Rachel! why you always playing?

new at this, i looked at god and started praying

that he wouldn't tell mom what was going on

and i realized the decision i made was all wrong

even though everyone thought i was nothing

i realized my family thought i was something

even though sometimes i felt so rejected

but with my mom's bi-polar disorder, what could I've expected?

honestly i felt like she truly hated me at times

but then a few minutes later that feeling was undermined

she was normal again and she wasn't screaming and throwing things

she was happy again and we both look at each other and grined

but i'm sorry to say that i still wasn't happy in this world

i would think to myself, "why can't i be like those other girls?"

they're so pretty and have such perfect bodies

just because i didn't, everyone hated on me

man, i was so confused cause all the adults told me i was a beautiful girl

but all the kids in my school thought i was a gremlin or a chubby squirrel

i still don't know why, cause the adults still feel the same way

every time i go to my family's job its all they say

but today most of the people in my school

think i'm oh so pretty and cool

i just don't know what it was back then

that made all the kids think i was trifling

whatever it was by the middle of seventh grade it was gone

one reason was probably cos my confidence had grown so strong

but one problem still confronts me in a few months

i don't know what to do when high-school starts

already, people are starting to think i'm gay

i know i'm not, but what am supposed to say?

apparently i'm pretty masculine sometimes

and don't like wear make-up all of the time

OK, i know it has to do with way i dress

but, in a month i'll have cuter clothes, so i shan't stress

i have to stop worrying, the past isn't going to repeat itself

i'm to strong to let that happen, and no one can impel

me to cave, cause i'm shining brighter than sun rays