My depression
• Written by Narrator
I feel like im trapped
Inside of my self
My own damn mind
Feels like a cell
Stuck behind these bars
leaving me emotionally scarred
And this shit is just totally harsh
Just sitting here hopelessly on my arse
Fuck this shit has broken me fast
I thought i could last
But im well bellow my class
Well bellow the last person who brought up my past
Well bellow every person that walks past
Well bellow the councilors who are working too hard
I dont have fucking problems
Im not sick im just scarred
Im not a prick im just harsh
Im not thick i chose to come last
I chose to walk the path
That leads back to where i start
Coz i cant leave behind my fucking past
Its just too hard
I cant control my self at times
Coz i hate it when people laugh
Staring at me like im crazy
Im just depressed and ive lost my chance
To make something of my self
Coz i was too fast
To push people away
When all they wanted was to help me be in charge
And take control of my self
And forget about my past
To cover up my scars
And to help me realise who the important people are
But now im stuck here
I was so close yet so far
My brain distorted i wish i was aborted
I just dont give my self a chance
Maybe im just too hard
Maybe i set my goals too far
Because i cant reach them
I cant see them
So how the fuck can i beat them
Im so hungry right now
I just wanna eat them
Defeat them and never leave them
Looks may be deceiving
But i swear if i dont pull my self togeather
Ill just stop breathing
Just give me a reason
To give the trigger a good squeezing
This is what happens
When people stop believing
When people rob my feelings
And show me no respect
When i was being even
So now all my freinds are just a bunch of heathens
Fucking snakes with no brains between them
My lifes a constant cycle of cold rainy seasons
A constant fight when at night im slaying these demons
Walking for miles accross eighty different regions
To find a reason
To pray for no more beatings
I cant take no more bleeding
No more bruises for me please
But it still fucking happens every time i speak
Every time i pick up the mic and spit to a beat
With every line i write there criticising me
Ill just sit and cry until they finish finally
So violently fighting me its frightening
My world is spiraling
The skys are showing no signs of it brightening
Its got me anxious to the point im tearing out pages
From this pad that im writing in
Violent streaks cross my mind
Like lightning sweeps across the nights sky
Tonights the night i end this
Tonights the night i die
Because this depression
Has built so much aggresions
Ive just been hungry for attention
Constantly left in suspense
Now i need another lesson
Coz all this shits confusing
And im constantly guessing
Asking way too many questions
And receiving no answers
What the fuck was i expecting
Im praying for a blessing
Praying that i can repent from my sins
When im in the booth confessing
And people will stop judging me and second guessing
Just because im different
Dont mean i dont need no affection
Sometimes i just wanna cry
Due to my depression
Sometimes i wanna die
Due to my depression
Sometimes i wanna leave the world behind
Due to my depression
But i cant becuase its selfish
And my family wont sleep another second
And how can i leave them
Forever feeling threatened
Thats just fucking sick
I couldnt do that my time in hell would be lengthened
And that type of shit just attracts
The wrong type of attention
Ive been given more bad names
Than fucking school detentions
Its makes me feel sick
When i stare at my reflection
I just wanna flip and break the fucking mirror
Coz then maybe i can sit snd see the world clearer
And ive been told that im insane
But i aint no serial killer
Ive been told that im deranged
But i aint no garry glitter
Im not some fucking weirdo
Pyscopathic kiddy fidler
Im just an normal kid
Trying to see the bigger picture
Make something of my self
And help my mum become a bit more richer
Im glad i cut my dad out my life
And did the same with family pictures
With a pair of scissors
Ripped them up and threw them out in the blizzard
Let the storm take them away
And pray ill be forgiven
But im not the one who should be shitting
Bricks it should be the sick prick
That calls him self dad and used to give my mum
A fat lip
This shits just tragic
I remember crying for hours in the fucking attic
My mind was like a tv
But all i saw was static
Kinda how my dad did
When he was always drunk
Throwing his arms around
Fucking stupid abusive cunt
He never cared for me my sister or mum
He just used to fucking hit her
The ruthless punk
But its over now
All thats shits done
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About the Artist
Narrator
Member since February 13 2016