Thoughts

In the blistering rain, I walk with shame, knowing in my mind I'll never be the same again

Its frightening, subtly exciting how my view upon life is so very jeopardising to my goals and ambitions, but the impulses are so very inviting

I need help, but I can't escape this realm, it's sending me on the path to hell

At times I'll say oh well, but sometimes I will cast a spell with the pen and pad, and escape my destructive shell

Pondering upon the subject of existence, my thoughts are twisted, alone in my rooms my thoughts become vicious

In my head there is a diagram, of what to do with my life and of all my plans, I can't fuck up, I've only got one shot, I can't lose myself and this chance I've got

I need to stop, but then my ego tells me otherwise, I can be very wise, but at other times I lose sight and interrupt my guidelines

As my mother cries, tears in her eyes, my heart feels torn and I become the one I despise

My future may be bright, but for tonight I am forlorn and neglected in these thoughts of mine

You may call me insane, but I see life as a game, there's only one life so I must succeed and maintain