my life with depression.. by cod...

i never really knew what it was like to be without a bike. i used to be afraid

of heights. but i overcame that fear when i was 5. i remember becoming so

high one day. i cried so many tears as i was standen in front of my peers on

a stage. i have writings in my notebook on every single page. Every single

word was about my hatred. i used to always fake it when i smiled.it wasnt

ever a true smile because i always faked it. i used to hate love. i wasnt from

up above from heaven, i was born from down below in hell. Satan is my

father. i be baken poison cookies and given them away. i am tired of

fighten to stay alive because i was always useless. i always wanted die.

They always senden me to the hospital for mental and physical help. every

time i go to the hospital i never wanted to go. i always got forced to. i always

argued and cussed them out that i dont wanna go but i just lose a girl but while

i was in the hospital i realized she was a hoe so i let her go. i regret getten with

her. when i got out each time she kept comen up to my like i truely gave a fuck

about her. i woke up every morning getting so fucken high. remembering the

good times when i was 5. i can barely count to 3 without messen around because

i been smoken so much weed. My nickname is coco because i smoked and snorted

so much cocaine. i smoke so much weed and blacks as well. i started out smoken

cigs at first and i still smoke those with my bro's. i got suspended so many times

and i got expelled from a couple schools because i commited some crimes. sometimes

when i get so bored i be stacken up my dimes. i have tried to commit suicide so many

times. i dont see the beauty in life. i have visits to the afterlife. my life is full of lies.

if you gonna keep on talken shit and putten your hands on me then we gonna fight other

wise then go take a nap or imma knock your ugly ass out. im proud of of the times i beat

the fuck outta someone or commited them crimes throught my lifetime. throught my life i

have proved that i can be a savage when i want to be. i love to stand at the gate of hell

and hear my father yell across to me welcome home my demon son cody. i am lonely but

i dont give a fuck. i wish to be hit by a truck. i snuck out so many times before. there is no

way out of the dark empty space inside of my head. i am emo and goth. i got so many scars

i remember the first time i puffed and smoked a cigar while playing my guitar. i am very well a

psychopath. i know true crazy and evil when tell death to take the last of my breath.