Luigi's Ballad (Funny)

Princess Peach, won't you listen to my speech

I don't have any stars of invincibility

But you're the brightest star in the sky tonight for me

I'm your Luigi

 

What up, bitch?! I got a 1UP, bitch!

What's inside that Question Block? It's my dick!

It's-a-me a-Mario I'm more Italian than pastrami

I'll take you by the peaches and give you the hot salami

I saved you from dragons and evil Boos that are spooky

Must I be a raccoon to get inside your Tanooki?

I will mount you like Yoshi and show you things you've never seen

My mushroom's now mega if you know what I mean

SO SUCK IT!

 

Mario, you always do this shit

I like a girl and then you ruin it

By yelling stuff about your dick

Until they go away

 

Hey, Luigi, it's okay

That Mario's a bit risqué

Just tell me what you need to say

Please don't be afraid!

 

Oh, Princess!

It means so much for me to hear you say that.

The only thing I've ever wanted to tell you is that- GOD DAMN IT

 

I'm here to pleasure that ass!

I'd like to go first, Princess, but I always come last

And you say we'll get together but I'm jackin' off alone

Koopa Troopa skeletons aren't the only Dry Bones!

I am tired of your run-around it's such a fuckin' hassle

I go through shit and then you're in another fuckin' castle

You gotta think about it? Well I don't believe the hype

You'll have a lot of time to think when you are smokin' on my Warp Pipe!

 

OMG!

I can't decide on which of you should be the guy

To take me on your mustache ride that'll redefine my life

 

I'm ready to give love a shot

It's not about how many coins you've got

I just know I like you a lot

 

Yo sluts! Check out my yacht! UGH!

 

Let me take you on a magic kart ride

 

I'll bust all yo' balloons when I smack your backside

 

We'll have some fun, I'll bring my friends along

 

I'll kick that Donkey Kong right in his konkey dong

 

Come on, Peach! It's time to make your choice!

I'm the only plumber that can make your boobies rejoice

Green lanky-ass brother ain't got shit on me

It's time to live out our story of the Princess and the pea-nis