Freestyle writing

Trying to trigger my repressed schizophrenia

So I can dive into the sea of manic hysteria

And swim in the murky lake filled with bacteria

I know it doesn't seem quite clear to ya

But you can bet your bottom dollar

Regardless of my current state someday I will slaughter

All the parts of my mind that resembles my father's

Trying to severer the neural electrical wiring

In an attempt to stop the synapse from firing

Messages to the neurotransmitter I most desire.

For it has set my entire mind on fire

despite the destruction it's still a taste I acquire

And if I told you I stopped just know I'm a liar

But It's not my fault, it was predisposed

Within the family tree and my genetic code.

Now I'm trying to figure out just how to let it go.

And rewiring these impulses is the only way I know

What i was once so grateful and proud to hold

Has been tainted, fried, and covered with mold.

I stood witness to the sickness that started to grow

And instead of saving myself into the poison I willingly dove.

I can't help it, clearly I have no sense of control.

The dealer delt me a perfect hand but instead I decided to fold.