Bruises

I feel so achy and lately

Nothing heals it never kills me

Like it should and I would do it

Myself but I ain't got the strength

Can't make ammends and it sends me

Into mayhem when I see them

I pick up the pen life's spent

I crave freedom gave my safe place

 

With my bruises and they uses, uses me

Not sorry I'm not a copy

Of your mind can't find what's real, yeah

Can't feel with my bruises and they uses

They uses me but I'm so useless

But they do this everyday

Running out of ways to say I'm

I'm not okay with bruises, my bruises

 

Have an opinion I'm winning

Room's spinning I wake up wake up

Get your ass up your last up now

Second place no competition

I'm not wishing for spotlight I

Never got it's an empty lot

But it's mine and you'll find when you

Got voices screaming and they're screening

For missteps and time's just spent

Pretending you're not human persuing their esteem running out of

Steam day night every fight's just

Scratch claw match draw it's dawn they're gone

I'm done! Exhale close your eyes

Block out the lies but watch the clock

Fucking hell what I got to tell

You wouldn't even know what I go

Through daily speaking bout sex drugs

Lately I'm not worthy I'm slowly dying ain't even fucking trying

They're testing me, arresting me

I'm just-I gotta stop just stop

What's the point of being at the top

When nobody's watching? I can't

I wish they-they loved me instead of putting theirself above me

Just don't care it's not even fair

I could be so much but it's such

An inconvenience I mean this

Can't breathe no relief good grief how

How many times must I hear these lines? Ain't got no more tries this

Is my life I'm sick of controlling of going off and you just scoff

Think I like being like this? It makes me scream every night I seem

To get deeper, and in this hole I buried all that I carried

It keeps swallowing me up saying I'm not enough I'm bowing

Like you're god but you're not and I bought that you want the best for me

But you're beating me feeding me what I despise I can't realize

That it's wrong cause this is the only song I hear on my playlist

 

With my bruises and they uses, uses me

Not sorry I'm not a copy

Of your mind can't find what's real, yeah

Can't feel with my bruises and they uses

They uses me but I'm so useless

But they do this everyday

Running out of ways to say I'm

I'm not okay with bruises, my bruises

 

Dark room feels like a tomb this place

I call my home but I'm not, I'm

I'm not alone though I roam here

With treasured thoughts and measured breaths

Stand up tall and proud speak loud now

But no one hears the sound I fall to the ground bleeding broken weak

These fears I can't keep living even surviving like this I miss

When I used to play along it didn't feel so wrong these days are long

Sarcastic whims injured limbs it never wins past my desires and

These fires burn so bright and some night I get so angry cause I think

Maybe this is the last time I'll fight all I need is a tomorrow

I feel so hollow they took whatever was there I just can't give

Hope you understand this wasn't the plan I just wanted to live, yeah

Nothing can mend my scars I ran with your words just like broken glass

I live in a warzone pray for death with every breath I lay

Still as the bombs go off like mom's with their imperfect families

All these needs pile up and I swear sometimes she-they get louder

When I cowered I guess I never really mattered in my life

My own life, whole life feels like a gaping hole takes it's toll on me

To walk at leisure always pleasure the person that claims me they-

Tamed me were the one that made me these thoughts lately are just like maybe

I'm nobody nothing never be something this is okay

That I can't say I'm unhappy without them being snappy just trying

To snap my neck and end it cause I'm replaceable I struggle

To stay within these lines and everytime I find something

To call mine they take it they break it, yeah, take it fucking take it

I'll never make it anyways so don't praise just don't replace me

I'll be what you need long as you feed my desire for attention

Just don't mention what I need ignore when I plead I'm just nothing

 

With my bruises and they uses, uses me

Not sorry I'm not a copy

Of your mind can't find what's real, yeah

Can't feel with my bruises and they uses

They uses me but I'm so useless

But they do this everyday

Running out of ways to say I'm

I'm not okay with bruises, my bruises

I'm not okay with bruises, my bruises