Deep Lessons and Depression

Ive been rolling rolling rolling rolling down this lonely path

My mind has been eroding slowly and filling up with wrath

I have noticed that i'm the only thing holding me back

I know that there is no love but i am stuck up in the past

 

Don't look back, keep moving the pain will eventually fade

Like namestae, leave no trace there is no more memories

Some will say, lost love is a blade cutting your mentality

Leaveing bloody stains across your brain causing insanity

 

Isolated and faded these thoughts got me contemplating

I'm losing patience tired of living in anticipation

I have stagnated, frozen in despair,

hatred is contagious, I'm hoping ill gain the will to care,

 

Ive been scared of the things that my future holds

Intrusive thoughts and insomnia got me feeling cold

I act like there is no problem, i just keep to my own

Stick to my pace, play that poker face and stay inside my zone

 

So they don't know, know the real me

I only show the side that I want them to believe

They don't know, know the real me

I'm not the type of guy who likes to wears his heart on his sleeve

 

I've been dealing with depression for awhile now

I guess God's teaching me a lesson like I'm still a child

I've been stressed out smoking on some black and mild's

Reminiscing back to the days when I was still acting wild

 

Causing riot's getting peopled riled, acting young and dumb

Moving pounds throughout the town, now I'm just your average bum

Never sound I'm going round in circles till my body's slumped

Tryna outrun all my demons but I can feel them coming up

 

I've had enough, tired of life and it's addictions

Conflicted bout my past and the things I have committed

another statistic that got lost within the system

hoping I'll be found even though my body is not missing

 

I'm slipping been tripping I don't know where to go

Life is a raging river, and I'm just trying to float

I'm drowning howling, pleading to the holy lord

To take the my torn soul and dig me out of this hole