suicide note

dear family,

i am sorry i cant take living this way anymore

having to hide part of my life from the ones i love

hurts me inside

so that why am writing this to tell you my reason

this is my suicide

 

growing up i had everything

mother who would have given her last breath

for me

aunts that love my unconditionally

grandparents that show me what real love means

i guess i had more then most

 

but a father that all i needed

and it's the only thing I never had

maybe something close

but it never last

guys like that in my life came and went

mom I know you had to play both roles

I am so grateful but it left a hole in my life

no i dont need anyone giving me excuse for him

if he want to be, then he should have been

lie after lie coming out of his mouth

oh he going to be sober, oh he found god now he better

 

ha i knew it wouldn't last long till he slip up

go figure, i was right now am up late again

thinking, plotting, trying to get my minded right

all of it is jumble around nothing make sense

vision of me blowing my brains out or just hanging off the ground

i just want to see blood, i dont want to feel anymore

Sharp the blade for the last time,

Damn it I am afraid, I've been betrayed

By the ones I came so close too

If suicide was on your mind what would you think

Before slit your wrist, or swallow the handful of pills

Before the chair slip from under your feet

 

All can think is this world going to hell and I ain't sticking around

To find out how it all goes down

Well I finally did it and I see the light

Damn it

They brought me back to life

Maybe god got a better plan