Humbling Healings

Juggling feelings of loving and bludgeoning,

suffering is real and it’s doubling troubling

concealing is covering, couldn’t be fearing,

my humblest of humbling hearings

and Humbling healings.

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Will I fall, will I fly?

I don’t know, so I call to the sky,

for answers. I am talking to guys

and panthers to absolve my own mind,

that just won’t grow, so why won’t I be toppling in stride?

I don't know.

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Sitting in class and I’m thinking of her,

thinking I’ll hurt if I don’t get my dick in that ass

or finish this verse, wishing for cash

I’m pinning my hurt on paper

these lyrics that curse are savored

(am I speaking what mass wants me to?)

blurt all the feelings that work, or don’t, I’m broke

but my ceiling does burst a layer,

working capacity is gravity when

feelings avert me from dealing my word.

I hate her, I love her,

this life’s a bitch but my girl is my world that’s why I fuck her,

screaming 'fuck the world', while she’s watching me chug then hurl,

asking why I’m drinking so hard, I’m blanking her because I’m thinking of god.

Forgive me for all my sins,

I never believed in you because I wanted to be more than skin,

and now I feel I’m leaving you for what is to be whores and gin.

Poorest wind carrying me souring when I’m more than this person you

see before you men, I’m an ornament on the floor of rock bottom.

That’s my origin.

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This is my reality.

This is what life is when you’re always testing gravity;

Best to live lavishly so when you fall into and when death is calling you,

you don’t think ‘I didn’t do my best’. Live in vanity.

Teeth filled cavities,

always swallowing the sugarcoated bullshit happily.

-

So can you tell me, will I fall or will I fly?

Do you know, does anyone?