The Ordeal

I can't decipher fact from fiction,

Neither decision will help with the visions

Of sins I've committed, memories twisted

And all of the things to which I've been addicted

People say I should have some kind of compass,

'Cause without a light I will never be right

But among this existence I still feel enlightened

And in fact my grip over time, it has tightened

When I was younger, I used to feel frightened

At what I might end up becoming

Surrounded by violence, domestic and otherwise,

Life must come with lows to appreciate the highs

Day after day as the bills keep piling up, keep your chin up

Focus on tomorrow, you're only stuck if you say so

So much of our lives is attitude, how you respond

To the shit that happens to you

 

Is this all a dream, or is this actually real?

This whole ordeal has gotten out of hand,

I'm trapped inside this mental prison,

Feel like a hamster on a wheel that never stops

 

Shifted perception, it begs the question

What can you accomplish with intention?

Could it be turned into a weapon?

Take the right pill, go deeper down the rabbit hole

Meet with the Mad Hatter and regain control

Isn't that the entire goal in life? Find what drives you

Some of my friends found joy in pills, and others still

Can't get it right

They wasting time, just working jobs

Dead-end jobs, through day and night

It's quite the sight to watch them wane

How are they not going insane?

I must refrain from mentioning names, but I do think

It's a fucking shame, but who's to blame for what they became?

Living life in pain, how could you maintain?

If you ain't using yours, I'll take your brain

 

Is this all a dream, or is this actually real?

This whole ordeal has gotten out of hand,

I'm trapped inside this mental prison,

Feel like a hamster on a wheel that never stops

 

I got a proboscis now, and no thought can slow me down

I got a lock on this endgame, and a rot in my brain, sepsis

I bet this is shocking to the sheep I'm surrounded by,

They probably think I'm a shy guy because I ruminate all day,

An Intellectual giant in disguise who despises them anyway

Keep your opinions to yourself,

I really don't give a fuck about what you think of me

I have a thought, I'll keep doing me,

And you can try to get through to me, but remember

None of it is new to me

When I woke up this morning and jumped out of bed,

While you slump over your keyboard looking halfway dead

I took a fat dump, shit, showered, and shaved

Before grabbing a brick and continuing to pave on the

Road to my vision, embedded in neurons,

A billion revisions to what this could cause

 

Is this all a dream, or is this actually real?

This whole ordeal has gotten out of hand,

I'm trapped inside this mental prison,

Feel like a hamster on a wheel that never stops

 

Manipulate my life at will, no stipulations fit the bill

I just want to be happy and chill, for real

Y'all talk about the most petty of things, and yet something's

Still missing from the puzzle I think

On the brink of discovering what keeps you underwater,

How much longer can you hold your breathe?

And will this make you any stronger?

If not, why you doing it, wasting all that energy?

It's time to live life with some synergy, and free your time

For things you will do until you die

Multiply the things you love,

Subtract the things you don't

Abstract as it is to hear a nobody say it,

Division only leads to a life that is broke