Failed Suicide

Wrist with multiple cuts

Door locked and shut

When's God gonna start healing

When is their no more suffering

I can't handle this pain

I'm the kid people blame

Hoodie on, eyes closed

This kid's heart is ice cold

Coming home, black eye

Screaming in my pillow "I just wanna die!"

Tying the rope to the fan

I'm about to be a dead man

Putting my head in the noose

Chair giving me a lil' boost then I kick it loose.

Body turns cold and blue

paramedics running in the room

They're checking my pulse

Not even a little cough

Where's God's second chance?

I need him in the circumstance

Doctors hoping, needles poking, eyelids open.

 

I start to breathe

"No, God please!"

Send me to the afterlife

Let me soar through all the skies

I don't understand this!

I don't wanna live!

Let me die!

Let me die!

I don't wanna stay alive!

Within a blink in an eye

I saw butterflies

You still have a long life to live, God replied

My life no longer on standby

Now I fight for my life

I've seen the light

I've survived

I failed suicide

I didn't die

I hated seeing my mother cry

She thought that was her final goodbye

I've seen the other side

God's my guide

And now I know I will be in a good place when I finally die.