From the bottom of my heart

Pain, desperation and despair

Three words I know very well

School of hard knocks

Great stories to tell

But life lessons got me torn through the heart

The question is will I make it through the final bell

Of course I choose heaven over hell

But my actions ain't proving it, only time will tell

Cause right now, it's lookin like a needle in a haystack

way back niggas had to pray before they ate yeah

But I lost sight

And its not like I don't think God ain't right

Cause He's real

It's just hard makin Him spotlight

When sin got control of my sense of feel

I think I gave them too much leadway

Then cover up my wrongs call dat a respray

For pete's sake, needa stop the delay

Lost my goals now it's hard to see straight

Looking back, man I never look forward

I just look at my past horror

All the things that I've seen

All the things that have happened me

But I'll recover gradually

Actually

I'm a wreck man as you can see

I think death done did this to me

Cause

Where would I be if my brother was still here

Raising me under his wings

And is proud of me

I don't know if he's proud of me

Cause wrongdoing got a hold of my time you see

Can my mind be free

Or is it cursed for doom

Hanging with these demons all around my room

 

And that's the truth

Can't nobody relate to

 

Now,

Pain, desperation and despair

Keep coming with the same three words

Now I'm lookin at my tears that went down to my shirt

I stick around the church

Tryna find a remedy and hopin that God ain't sick of me

Cynically these people peepin me

Peekin and lookin away

Treatin me like a demon

Cause of all the misdemeanors that they heard of

And they seen from me

Word on the street the unclean can be washed by the blood of the king

And man they keep tellin me

But I don't think that I'm ready

My heart is heavy

Blaming it on God who's living in heaven

Even tho

I know he's not the reason for my problems and my pain

And the devil's tryna grasp me in his hand

Man I fell into his game

I been running to the flames

Need to turn to the king

But that's a shame

Cuz I knew that i was on the wrong path

And I knew that I was walkin on glass

I knew it wouldn't last but

My fear of rejection

Is killin like a lethal weapon

Taking me to doom like