"Problems"

I been havin problems lately and it's not fun

life is flying by my face at fuckin mach one

it makes me wanna pull a Cobaine with a shotgun

so I guess I'm kinda lucky I aint got one

because I'd pop one

with no hesitation

and leave this shit behind, without an explanation

I would have no fear, no trepidation

but this is hypothetically in my imagination

I ain't gonna do it, cuz I ain't suicidal

suicide's just been on my mind for a while

my stupid mind's fucked up and thoughts are runnin wild

that's the reason it's been kinda hard to crack a smile

I'd love to crack a bottle

or smoke some fuckin weed

but those things are the cause of my fuckin grief

and yeah it's buggin me,

these issues underneath

the shit I deal with that I don't let anybody see

It's the kinda thing that nobody would guess

cuz I'm always laughin, even when I'm depressed

but it just sucks because my mind can never rest

and then I go and get that funny feelin in my chest

It's like everybody's talkin, but I can't hear em speak

my stomach's turnin over and my knees are gettin weak

If I throw up or pass out, they'll think that I'm a freak

and now I'm sweatin "Hey can someone please turn off the heat"

I can't focus, my minds racin

I can't sit still so I start pacin

Wish I believed in God so I could start prayin

but I'm an atheist man ain't that heart breakin

I'm strong enough to do this and I know it

But lately I'm just really questioning all of my motives

life is feelin like I'm just goin through the motions

It's a long and boring movie I just want it tobe over

and that scares me

cuz I don't like that

I really wonder how I got to where my life's at

My mind's wack so I try and fight back

and then I vent between the kicks and the hi hats

like dear diary, I'm really fuckin mad

I got anxiety, I fuckin hate my dad

I get depressed alot, I'm so much more than sad

I wish I had a life like all them other people have

but then I think to myself, some people got it worse

some people missin loved ones leavin in a hearse

and I'm just sittin here, writin down this verse

acting like I got the worst luck on planet Earth

but that's not how it is, so how can i complain

just cuz I got some crazy shit wrong inside my brain

some people out there sleepin in the fuckin rain

or gettin cancer treatments and they in constant pain

so I'm sorry life, for acting like a bitch

I pomise that I'm gonna work on all this stupid shit

I won't just stop tryin, nah I aint gonna quit

why? cuz that just ain't like Jeremy Schmitt