Complacent

Kinda hard just to find my inspiration

With watered down raps all over the station

Not even a fighting chance beyond desperation

Mom always calling me, there's no separation

But it's all good, I'll go hide myself in my dad's basement

My demons remind me that I feel complacent

Even when I know I'm not, I'm actin' like we gon' make it

All these lies cover up truths, I can't take it

No reasons left for me to smile, but I can fake it

I used to have a gift leave it to me to forsake it

I feared I'd end up like this, now here I am

A young boy, terrified of becoming an old man

Keep telling me that I can't when deep down I know I can

Knew I'd wind up being my biggest fan

But my girlfriend's my biggest everything

She's the only reason I smile and even think that I can sing

I swear she takes out all the pain and reminds me what's within

But I've been taking her blessing and filling it up with sin

Not proud of who I am or at least who I've been, dont know whats happenin

 

I'm so self-conscious I swear that it makes me nauseous

I'm losin' to all my sins, one day it's gon' make me cautious

I'm looking for signs of light in a room full of darkness

For right or for wrong, gonna keep writing all of these songs

Till I find my calling or fit where I belong

Anyway, I know I'm wrong

Just take this song as my apology towards everything I thought I'd be and more

Hate to watch you and all those times walk out the door

Just waiting on you to turn around and for your clothes to hit the floor

But I know that's in the past and this pain it's gonna last

Going nowhere fast as i sit back take a hit of the gas

Smokin facials so there's no one here to pass

Gets lonely when you only make yourself laugh

These raps make me sound suicidal but I'm okay- but I'm okay

Straighten out my life as I'm living day to day

I'm still in college with a lot of knowledge i'd like to say