Struggle

 

sighed off from a 9 to 5

i had to move dark and the white

i really had to live that life

i never did grip no knife

 

carh da struggle it made me wise

seen enough to live 5 lives

through it all you’ll know i’m still kind

walking round i’ll greet with you a smile

 

but in my head i’m screaming for peace

carh im still tryna duck and dash

from da police

been in the cells

couldn’t wait to be released

heads tormenting me

replaying old memories

 

now i keep having visions of my death

head in a rope taking my last breath

battling my brain i just might have to give it a rest

moms the reason i’m not lying in a bloody mess

 

spent hours in hospital that’s suicide watch

mom was with me tryna help me coffin dodge

psych ward that woulda been my travel lodge

so if you see me then i probably ain’t feeling cotch

 

and these meds i’m on make it worse

thought they’d be a blessing but they’re a curse

but i’m still here not in a hearse

feels like i’m living life in reverse

 

feelin eighty one at eighteen

got me raw from a war that i seen

had some pals who let it slap thinkin silly schemes

guns made them snug in the streets

 

guess i’m spitting like Konan

don’t wanna get exiled from the home that i roll in

Krept in my room so it’s time to start zonin

write my bars then i’m tokin,

feelin spiritual with my smokin

 

new to this rap game but ima kill it

bars written guess it’s time to bill it

melons fried like it’s been in a skillet

new inspiration for my pad time to fill it

 

funny how i’m using my pain for something good now

couple times tried to kill myself but i’m still here somehow

last time i attempted my mom made me vow

don’t let them people in look what you allowed

 

so it’s fuck you to the people who fucked with my head

how can other people have me wishing for my death

in my bed i can’t sleep begging for some rest

cuz no matter what I do these dark thoughts they manifest