BUILDING BLUEPRINT
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Lyrical Analysis of...
What If?
- I sometimes wonder late at night
- What if things had been alright?
- What if there had been no drink?
- No abuse, no frights?
- No shouting, no fights?
- No need to run &hide?
- No being left home alone terrified?
- No such thing as suicide?
- What if you and Brian were still alive?
- All these questions racing through my mind
- I can't see any positivity
- The events of my past have made me blind
- The memories of a messed up child
- Mam if you can hear me
- But I don't believe in god
- I love you and now
- I'm big I can say it
- Sorry for any pain I caused
- I remember being 2 years old
- You were mad
- I made yoghurt handprints on the walls
- You and Brian sat me up on the draining board
- And slapped me so hard while I bawled
- Maybe I deserved it
- Maybe it was just the alcohol
- It turned an angel into a monster
- Everyone tells me you were beautiful
- The kindest nurse there was
- I can't say I miss you
- I can't even remember your voice
- But I do remember you loved me
- When you were sober
- Always had me spoilt with toys
- Brian I know you didn't mean what you did
- I loved you as my long lost father
- You raised me as a 3rd kid
- Aged 2 you let me steer my first car
- During rows you'd
- Calm me down with Caramel bars
- Keep me safe in the bedroom, on guard
- While Mammy used the hoover as an arm
- It's so cruel that the
- Only picture I have of you
- Is the news photo on Google
- They promised I could visit you
- In Mount Joy but then it was too late
- I didn't even get to say goodbye
- Before you took control of your own fate
- I promise as soon as I can
- I'll speak to Janet
- Tell her you were good to me
- Let her know everything's ok
- And put flowers on your grave..
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