BUILDING BLUEPRINT
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Lyrical Analysis of...
No(t) Yourself
- (Intro)
- I'll be telling this with a sigh
- Somewhere ages and ages and hence:
- I could've gone this way and that, but then I—
- My choices, or by the voice of God
- And that's made all the difference.
- How're we all doing tonight?
- This song goes out for all the people
- Who try to know themselves
- When you feel like you're not yourself
- and your very own skin is your enemy
- and the goosebumps, they tell the tale
- (Verse 1, 0:37)
- Every morning that I wake up
- Another box of chocolates, say yum
- A good day or bad day, I'll never get to know
- But I'm sick of waking up to trick or treats, no
- Body ever told me about the days that I can't act right
- Too scared to leave my room afraid of the stage fright
- Like, I use to live Monday through Sunday
- Franky used to sing about how it went My Way
- Used to, used to, give a call to Houston
- Someone's living in the past perhaps they use to
- Map out big plans,
- Momma Imma be the leader a big old band. Yes we can!
- Can I kick it? Yes we can! Can I kick it?
- Yes we can! Can I kick it? Yes we can!
- well I'm gone, go on then
- and I'm sick of all these bad habits
- Like eating everything in sight like a savage, Mannn
- I can't even manage cooking cabbage
- Damaging my self esteem, as I dream of a clever scheme
- the magazines
- advertise it, they advise it
- Working out and eating right, man, I can't fight it
- the feeling that life will stay the same
- the lame game where no one knows my name, it's James...it's James
- (1:40, bridge)
- (Verse 2, 2:21)
- I hear you don't understand what's going on in school
- Facts fly by in a sky full of rules
- Theories on theories
- No time for even three of me's
- Teachers on my case, can't I get some sleep and peace
- 4 years here, I pay my dues for these years
- but I can't keep up, wasted money through my tears
- Study groups, Bible groups, they all keep me floatin'
- My head above the waves, but man I'm sick of coping
- and choking, I can't fight under pressure
- My veins filled with lukewarm, work under pleasure
- Whatever makes me feel good, that's real good
- But what's the good in trying if I can't even feel good
- So I raise another glass, Amped up but skipping class
- Sleeping in the shower cuz i'm low on gas
- since C's get degrees, I just have to pass
- please fastforward to when this is in the past
- (Verse 3, 3:04)
- So Bam, I see now, the answers to my hows
- and whys I had to work, harder than I do now
- with no doubt,
- every second counted, but I gave up and struck out
- Never made my dad proud
- Forever let my dad shout deep inside my brain,
- "don't become a retard in society just because your pain
- is bigger than your strength, c'mon man
- Well now I'm the scrub at the bottom of the can
- I'm a friggin father who won't even bother
- Better yet worse, in the basement of my mother
- Never learning, never concerning
- that my actions have consequences,
- Study to live, not for conforming
- Life is short but it keeps coming and going,
- when you gonna hop on and stop the free falliin'
- Go buy a belt big boy, if the pants keep fallin'
- Real men work, go blame the curse of the fallen
- (Ad lib, 3:45)
- (Verse 4, 3:55)
- So many 20 somethings
- Dropout for soul searching
- Itching n' bitching, about
- I'm meant for so much more, I'm certain
- Don't close door on me, don't close the curtain
- I hear an encore, or maybe it' a burden, some person
- giving me a chance, one glance that sees the real me
- Not the scrub, the bum, my inner voice keeps calling me
- Comeback stories only happen in the movies see
- or at least not my life, my life that shouts OMG
- Oh my God, I got a heavenly father
- while I'm disowned by my Korean other, son turned pariah
- Expectations already gone, and it's killing me, you feelin me?
- God calls me child, my son, he's healing me
- Brother to the Son of Man by grace alone
- that means I did nothing right, but still love was shown
- I can't see the future even with my glasses on
- But by God, I know I gotta keep marching on
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