BUILDING BLUEPRINT
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Lyrical Analysis of...
Alone
- i finally let you go and the load got lighter,
- born alone die alone but grew up a fighter,
- contemplated situations that i was facing,
- such a long time went straight to waste,
- i mean really though what can i say?
- maybe its because i am a disgrace,
- you left but your memory remains,
- within my heart that's on my sleeve like a deep stain,
- broken and traumatized i felt nothing but pain,
- long nights, stressed mind, slowly i had went insane,
- ice for a heart and if you dig then you know its my veins,
- im talking to myself in the mirror with these trust issues,
- telling myself just do it, quoting a fucking brand of shoe,
- and saying "its okay nobody will miss you,
- wont nothing ever be able to fix you,
- and lookout everyone is out to get you,
- you're expendable they will just forget you,
- your light did and ill bet your best friend will too,
- no wonder she left you're nothing but a fool,
- you were lacking of motivation not tools."
- but my life is full of hard knocks its really taken me to school,
- i'll pick myself back up and dust off the rocks like i always do,
- being without you, the feeling grew, it was familiar like deja vu,
- now i start anew, with nothing to lose, time will heal thats true.
- or did i grow numb and a little oblivious,
- like Potter was to the truth about Sirius,
- hell maybe im insane and fucking delirious,
- im glad youre doing well and im sorry i got furious,
- the feeling of not being good enough left me curious,
- i was playing with fire and i ended up burned,
- accusations and hesitation so thats what i earned,
- the memories turned to ashes and my mind's the urn,
- but i will always see it as a beautiful lesson learned,
- and i will take the old me out by the red fern,
- the demons are screaming as they toss and turned,
- but i will just give them one more hollow,
- straight to point the truth is hard to swallow,
- but in my pain i will no longer wallow,
- ill wait for the day you come back to say hello,
- i wont let this break me, itll only make me stronger for tomorrow,
- and if i must i will wear a mask and charade all of my sorrow,
- because strength is one thing i never borrow cause i grew up alone,
- ill walk tall with no path to follow ill even straighten my back bone,
- to show my past demons just how much i have actually grown,
- but quick there is no time to waste i got to move fast,
- so that i dont have to face the bad things in my past,
- i really did wish the bond between us would last,
- but it did not matter how i felt or how vast,
- but you left me broken and unfixable with a cast,
- in the mean time ill cope with being alone,
- i need no one ill get high on my own,
- so everyone can just leave me alone,
- for my sins ill atone on my damn own. (x2)
- Stuck in my high, afraid of heights, I'm trapped,
- within my mind, but i will fight, because i cant relapse,
- my emotions are like explosions in the lyrics i rap,
- my right hand. writes them on a pad, as it sits in my lap,
- sometimes my rhymes make me look like a sap that may snap,
- that is because of being kicked and slapped while i was on my back
- my mind is hell and within it im trapped trying to get on track,
- to take a crack at those who laughed while through hell i was dragged,
- and when i get my mind right all of them will get smacked believe that,
- especially my dad for going back to melting down meth rocks,
- wasting time getting his fix when his youngest son hath no socks,
- like Vader he says he my pops but hes more alien than Spock,
- father is something he is not, to me the faggot can rot,
- 6 years clean down the drain cause my mom left that hurt alot
- i know because she left us all without a second thought,
- but you guessed you were the only one put on the spot,
- yet my life was falling apart and i was forced to restart,
- 2016 was a year that a lot stress was put on my heart,
- i felt like i was being sucked into a hole that was dark,
- like a knife my wits were sharp i only made it cause i was smart,
- it all came so fast and hard that i was left rocked,
- and i couldnt do much but sit and observe,
- who know what lurks around the curve while i spit this verse,
- so immerse myself in my work so one day ill find the right words,
- to try to explain these confessions as im stressin depression,
- without expression, or question, my words are my only weapon,
- To speak from the soul and turn this curse into a blessin
- in the mean time ill cope with being alone,
- i need no one ill get high on my own,
- so everyone can just leave me alone,
- for my sins ill atone on my damn own. (x2)
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