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Dear Dad
- dear dad, its been 5 years since you passed,
- sometimes i wake up in a shitty mood and speak to mum like trash,
- i dont mean to its an urge that builds inside of me,
- and i cant be the man i try to be,
- when you died my soul died in me,
- why did you leave us? you didnt even say goodbye to me,
- its like we're playing hide and seek,
- but its taking forever for this game to end,
- one day we might all be together and you and mum can make amend,
- i felt i could trust you, you were my bestest friend,
- but i didnt like it when you hurt mum,
- the mistakes you made, you didnt learn from um,
- you was stuck a world of depression and all you could do was run,
- youre world was spun,
- when you would say horrible shit to me i knew you loved me because i am your son,
- my heart was stung and started to weigh a tonne,
- just wait for the next verse cause i aint done,
- see now in this verse im getting rowdy,
- you could call me mouthy,
- i felt the blame for what you did and my world went cloudy,
- my moods went drowsy,
- now i get aggressive and rap loudly,
- but i aint scared no more dad,i say shit proudly,
- i say shit powerfully,
- what you did to mum, ye that shit was cowardly,
- and your brothers and sisters hated her,
- everytime i went to visit them,i always heard, they was always slating her,
- she didnt do a thing out of place, but she was on her own,
- all alone,
- actually no,
- i was there who she needed most,
- what you did you could say you have some balls,
- at your funeral everyone arose,
- and gave you an applause,
- but they didnt know you like we did,
- i show all the shit you did from when i was a wee kid,
- they only remember you for the good things,
- well i do but also for the negatives,
- you tried to overdose as replacement as a sedative,
- see u loved mum and didnt want anyone else having her,
- do u realy thinking you would keep her by grabbing her and slapping her,
- SEE NOW SHE DIDNT WANT YOU
- your life was crashing,
- all the mirrors in the house ye you was smashing,
- zara didnt have a clue what was happening,
- she was always asking,
- i told her you and mum was playing and yous was laughing,
- on the 1st christmas back,
- my vision went black,
- i had faint memories,i was blinking,
- im not gonna lie i was drinking,
- all i could think of WHAT THE FUCK WAS YOU THINKING,
- all that bullshit why didnt you get help,
- go to the doctors or mental health,
- it would have saved our family and our lives wouldnt have began to melt,
- see i loved you cause you was my dad,
- i couldnt forever be mad,
- sometimes i sat in my bedroom and cried cause i was sad,
- see if i could turn back of course i would,
- i couldda made things good,
- and make you of understood,
- that eventually you was going to be losing us,
- especially when you was abusing mum,
- you was confusing us,
- you was paranoid,and you was accusing mum,
- of cheating,
- she was loyal dad and everyday you'd give her a pointless beating,
- and im still grieving,but i dont care,
- shit happens,so when i get all depressed i spit raps and,
- think about shit,
- this aint quick,
- but now everyones listening,
- now im drifting
- the weights lifting,
- we might meet again,
- and ye i said 'might',
- id like to say my last goodbyes,
- ending this with r.i.p dad, god bless, good night,
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