Bad Santa
• Written by Anonymous
Splatter, down goes the platter,
becoming fatter and fatter.
Chatter and banter, it’s the time of year
but where the fuck’s Santa?
With his sack filled with six-packs,
unwrapped, cause I'm too lazy
to peel the fucking paper back.
Like you... I'm stirred like a cold brew.
CHEW CHEW CHEW... Just like trains do,
but you best had move or I’ll CHEW through you!
but I know how to throw a fist,
better than your aim when you take a piss,
until you blist-er… Did it burn?
Have you not learned to be less concerned
when the pain is too unbearable
you can no longer pretend like it didn’t hurt?
HA.. Well I hope it did, like it did
when I put my dick in your ear,
jammed a gear and it popped out your rear.
FEAR, the chill that creeps up on you still,
cause it was you who rained over Santa's deers.
Now he's pissed, he's raised his whip,
imprinted your ass,spit and MADE YOU HIS BITCH.
he throws a stick and shouts
"fetch you little fucking shit"
and you dash, snow thrashing with passion
as if he had held your kids for ransom.
Now he's dancing, whilst he's glancing
at your mother unwrap her new sex contraption.
I'm laughing, whilst he's advancing in on
your mansion, "you greedy fuckers", he's jelous
and starts trashing and fucking smashing,
pull's down his pants
to give your fish a new 'stone' to sniff
"OH DEEELISH!".. Bad Santa!
he's drinking your favorite can of Fanta,
jacking off in your text books, but you won't know
which is soggy till you take look.
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