Lazy-E

Yo I got my glasses on

about to spit this song

Bitches don't like it

well they can go ahead and bite it

(My dick that is)

Have a seat on this bench

You see right here I'm the mensch and you're Wench

Or in a less shakespearian term

You accept cash to get filled with sperm

BUURN

Damn Lazies lyrics so slimey dog

hope they don't Crucify me at the synagogue

I take a shit on other rappers look like a log

I had them chalked up as frauds

and Chopped up In my Killer monologue

Damn das brutal Lazy-E

Excuse me a minute gotta bang this French Broad -

Oui OUI OUIIIII

No fo real though a sick flow spout from this bro

Just ask that French hoe

I don't think she could handle my Tempo

Know what you're thinking, THIS LAZY GUYS A PRO

Hold up now, slow, I'm not even halfway through the show

Ok, *Ahem* here we go

I'm constantly improving

other rapper snoozing they hit a plateau

Can't even match me blow for blow no quid pro quo

Hello this is Emilio

person of Mexico and master of taekwondo

And your nation I have come to overthrow

WHOOOOOAAAAAAAWWWW

My Rhymes are sublime they're right on time

So smart you need to pause, stop, and rewind

But there is no time

Get me a twist of lime for my lyrical crime

Just Lazy-E sittin' here by the fire spittin' fire

Lazy-E drinking fine tea in swedish Attire

Hide your daughter, your sweet minor

You know she give me boner that sinner I might just phone her

Don't you dare Deny this Avenger

This Professor on a bender

Just remember I will bend her whenever

Cause I don't fuck

I stare you down AND back up

Don't rub this Lazy-E the wrong way

Don't call him Jose

Don't deny him Stairway

Don't let your eyes stray

Don't compare him to Dr.Dre

Don't talk during the movie

Don't Deny him Bootay

Don't skip the foreplay

Nay, Sometimes that's OK

Mostly on Holiday

Anyway the point is Don't fuck with Lazy

Cause you can bet I got an Uzi

And maybe I get boozy

And the paparazzi gets salty

Surly you can guess what happens next

Heck, Molly Peck can recollect

The last time that happened

We was layin is Satin in manhattin

after a sexual reaction

When a knock came at the door

"FUCK OFF" I swore with a roar

But the knocking persisted

Goddam I was gifted

Cause Every single bullet I fired

Was planted in the paparazzi,

Bet they were sad they were hired

"What a pack of lies Lazy-E, you wouldn't such a thing"

I'm more than angry I'm Seething

You don't believe that I would?!?!?

I was sexting While you was Teething

I was drinking while you was crawling

I was Rapping While you was wheezing

And I was Ballin' While you was Bawling

I Spit Fire and you drool on your diaper

Lazy-E is gunfire, Oakland cops worst nightmare

But more than that Lazy-E is a symbol

He's a pistol and a sickle

A Comical testicle

The Grinches tickled nipple

He's the nonsensical non-sequitur

The rhetorical giggle

And a historical Riddle

A Lyrical Philosopher

The diabolical Theoretical

Metaphysical Jew

WOO HOO

Like the sound you make all the way home

BOO HOO

The sound of squeezing nipples

BOOB BOOB

The sound of the sirens coming after my Ass

WOOP WOOP

The sound of that Frenchie coming for my Blast

oui OUI OUIIIIII

So now you heard it from the very best, above all the rest

Who won't rest until he tastes the zesty breast of success

He's full of excess and undress

A true inspiration I must confess

I'm the king of the diction and the king of the dick son

God bless this fresh threat

He's Lazy-E nothing more nothing less

You get the picture I digress

 

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