My Apology

(Intro:Singing)

Mom, I just want you to know

I wish i can take away the pain i caused,

and even though you tried hard, to continue to be proud

but inside, i know it kills you to know the sins of me.

Mom, I just wanted to show

that i know the damage on you is all my fault,

there's no need to blame yourself, you can let ya shame out

its all me, no need to pretend your happy with me, cuz...

 

[CHORUS:Singing]

I guess it's too late to fix my mistakes

my decisions left you in pain

there's no one else you can blame but me,

i just hope our love still remains

know I think about you everyday,

and this is my apology.

 

I should have admitted to the crimes that I've committed

what i had submitted's worth more then any outfit it's

something one is only born with,

thought it was nothing but it was a promise.

i done made myself blood brothers with some others

that others felt uncomfortable with

didn't even think twice of affiliating

myself with the individuals in this.

It was dumb,

but i felt forever young becoming afraid of the light

living in the dark,

it started with a walk from the park out at night.

I forgot about family,

cuz it took my focus off of what i saw as adversities

but in the end was the closest thing to me,

how could I, thinking this was me.

Now I've lost myself, facing the mirror glass,

but all i faced was some mask

and now I'm trying to find what was me,

runnin' into my past and empty paths

this rat race ended at what turned out to be the world's edge

looking down the ledge to life's end it hit me,

realizing what my ax did to my family tree...

so I leaned closer and I stepped wondering who will miss me...

 

[CHORUS]

I guess it's too late to fix my mistakes

my decisions left you in pain

there's no one else you can blame but me,

i just hope our love still remains

know I think about you everyday,

and this is my apology.

 

Going down into the abyss, my head spins and i reminisce

seeing memories i miss, and the memories i would miss

I'm stretching trying to grab the ones in grasp,

birthdays, funerals, and my future children

all the possibilities that could happen

in a man's existence I've been forgetting

marriage, graduation, all this will never get to happen

if i would of went through with all my mistakes 'n

the one i really hurt, I know you got it the worst,

and this is what would occur if i hadn't have turned,

just imagining her face and feelings

if she knew my sins 'n all after confessing

Ma, i can't live with my self

knowing the damage you have to hold, process, 'n

live with this weight I've thrown upon ya,

this isn't the child you pictured walking the altar.

but don't bother blaming this on my father,

none of this is his fault neither momma

looking at the street wandering if i should go back 'n,

it was you that kept me from crossing over

i just hope that this can take some of that weight off your shoulder

constantly worried, I'm just glad you lived through those dark parts

and i know for you the hardest part was letting me out your arms,

fixing my sleeves, shifting ya life for me,

and the grief you grieved due to me

getting all those calls 'bout me, you never wished for a better son,

your love for me stayed satisfied with the son you conceived

and still had time to love another three.

I just love how you never lost your pride for me,

and the same goes for you Ma

so i just wanted you to know...

 

(BRIDGE)

Mother I'm sorry for all my mistakes,

but I don't regret the decisions I made.

Because I would never have learned thee

the man that i have turned out to be.

I have no remorse for the decisions in school

thats the reason i have this image of you.

And if i am the one who has to leave first

i hope you know, that you've done your part

and none of this was never your fault so...

don't you worry 'bout fixing my mistakes

no more stress, and no more pain

there's no one else you could blame but me,

just know that our love still remains

and I think about you everyday,

and this was my apology.

 

[CHORUS]

 

It was never your fault...