My apologies

Back then, I wasn't worried about tomorrow

I wasn't scared of the future or what would follow

All I wanted was to be with you and that was all that mattered

But I never knew that things between us could get so damn shattered

Now I ain't asking to get you back

Because you're right I'm just another crazed maniac

But I was your maniac, I was happy with you

And I didn't even care about what you put me through

But now things have grown so different

Maybe it's my fault, was I too ignorant

Maybe after all the pain and loss I was too broken

But I didn't mean to hurt you with what I had spoken

So forgive me, I didn't realize

That my anger and arrogance would be my own demise

But behind the emotions and the smoke screen of lies

All that hate for you was really love in disguise

 

Now I ain't asking to have you back

I really just want you to know that

I never meant to hurt you so bad

If I could take back what I had said

I would do it untill I was dead

Cause those are words that I never meant

 

I'm kinda scared that you'll never forgive me

It's been on my mind for weeks now, believe me

All I want to do is get down on my knees

And say sorry, but my courage decided to leave me

So If you'll listen I've got an apology to give

This moment is just one that I hope I'll never relive

Hear me out, and by the end I'll be yours to forgive

 

I'm sorry that the words that I said came across as so violent

I'm sorry that despite my emotions I couldn't hold my silence

I apologize that I wasn't there when you needed me the most

I was so afraid that the contact would leave me exposed

And I'm sorry that I couldn't provide

The sort of sympathy you needed to be satisfied

The sort of empathy you wanted with me by your side

The sort of stability,

Cuz I felt so guilty,

And you didn't know how close I was to suicide

Cause I hid it so deep beneath my ego and my pride

Or I hid it behind, the Aderall and cyanide

But I've had enough of this deceitful joyride

 

Now I ain't asking to have you back

I really just want you to know that

I never meant to hurt you so bad

If I could go back and hold my tongue

I would do it till my last sun

Those are things I should never have done