My Name Is

[Produced by Dr. Dre]

[Intro]

Excuse me!

Can I have the attention of the class for one second?

 

[Verse 1]

Hi, kids! Do you like violence? Wanna see me stick nine inch nails through each one of my eyelids?

Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did?

Try 'cid and get fucked up worse than my life is?

My brain's dead weight, I'm trying to get my head straight

But I can't figure out which Spice Girl I want to impregnate

And Dr. Dre said "Slim Shady, you a basehead!"

Uh-uhhh! "So why's your face red? Man, you wasted!"

Well, since age twelve I felt like I'm someone else

‘Cause I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt

Got pissed off and ripped Pamela Lee's tits off, and smacked her so hard I knocked her clothes backwards like Kris Kross

I smoke a fat pound of grass, and fall on my ass

Faster than a fat bitch who sat down too fast

Come here, slut! "Shady, wait a minute, that's my girl, dog!"

I don't give a fuck, God sent me to piss the world off

[Verse 2]

My English teacher wanted to flunk me in junior high

Thanks a lot, next semester I'll be 35

I smacked him in his face with an eraser

Chased him with a stapler

Stapled his nuts to a stack of papers

Walked in the strip club, had my jacket zipped up

Flashed the bartender, then stuck my dick in the tip cup

Extraterrestrial, running over pedestrians in a spaceship

While they're screaming at me, "Let's just be friends!"

99 percent of my life I was lied to

I just found out my mom does more dope than I do

I told her I'd grow up to be a famous rapper

Make a record about doing drugs and name it after her

You know you blew up when the women rush your stands

And try to touch your hands like some screaming Usher fans

This guy at White Castle asked for my autograph

So I signed it: "Dear Dave, thanks for the support, asshole!"

[Verse 3]

Stop the tape! This kid needs to be locked away! (GET 'EM!)

Dr. Dre, don't just stand there, operate!

I'm not ready to leave, it's too scary to die

I'll have to be carried inside the cemetery and buried alive

Am I coming or going? I can barely decide

I just drank a fifth of vodka, dare me to drive?

All my life I was very deprived

I ain't had a woman in years, my palms too hairy to hide

Clothes ripped like the Incredible Hulk

I spit when I talk, I'll fuck anything that walks

When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits

How you gonna breastfeed me, Mom? You ain't got no tits!

I lay awake and strap myself in the bed

Put a bulletproof vest on and shoot myself in the head

I'm steaming mad and by the way, when you see my dad

Tell him that I slit his throat in this dream I had