luigis ballad funny

 

[Luigi:]

Princess Peach, won't you listen to my speech

I don't have any stars of invincibility

But you're the brightest star in the sky tonight for me

I'm your Luigi

 

[Mario:]

What up, bitch?! I got a 1UP, bitch!

What's inside that Question Block? It's my dick!

It's-a-me a-Mario I'm more Italian than pastrami

I'll take you by the peaches and give you the hot salami

I saved you from dragons and evil Boos that are spooky

Must I be a raccoon to get inside your Tanooki?

I will mount you like Yoshi and show you things you've never seen

My mushroom's now mega if you know what I mean

So suck it!

 

[Luigi:]

Mario, you always do this shit

I like a girl and then you ruin it

By yelling stuff about your dick

Until they go away

 

[Peach:]

Hey, Luigi, it's okay

That Mario's a bit risqué

Just tell me what you need to say

Please don't be afraid!

 

[Luigi:]

Oh, Princess!

It means so much for me to hear you say that.

The only thing I've ever wanted to tell you is that- GOD DAMN IT

 

[Mario:]

I'm here to pleasure that ass!

I'd like to go first, Princess, but I always come last

And you say we'll get together but I'm jackin' off alone

Koopa Troopa skeletons aren't the only Dry Bones!

I am tired of your run-around it's such a fuckin' hassle

I go through shit and then you're in another fuckin' castle

You gotta think about it? Well I don't believe the hype

You'll have a lot of time to think when you are smokin' on my Warp Pipe!

 

[Peach:]

Oh Em Gee!

I can't decide on which of you should be the guy

To take me on your mustache ride that'll redefine my life

 

[Luigi + Peach:]

I'm ready to give love a shot

It's not about how many coins you've got

I just know I like you a lot

 

[Mario:]

Yo sluts! Check out my yacht!

 

[Luigi:]

Ugh!

 

[Luigi:]

Let me take you on a magic kart ride

[Mario:]

I'll bust all yo' balloons when I smack your backside

[Luigi:]

We'll have some fun, I'll bring my friends along

[Mario:]

I'll kick that Donkey Kong right in his konkey dong

 

[Mario:]

Come on, Peach! It's time to make your choice!

I'm the only plumber that can make your boobies rejoice

Green lanky-ass brother ain't got shit on me

It's time to live out our story of the Princess and the pea (nis!)

 

[Mario:]

So! Who's it gonna be, Princess?

 

[Peach:]

I choose... Toad!

 

[Mario + Luigi:]

TOAD?!

 

[Peach:]

Well his whole body's shaped like a dick.

 

[Mario:]

Ohhhh, mhm, yeah, definitely

[Luigi:]

Oh, yeah, okay, mushrooms look like dicks, yeah-huh