Soups

Just another day on the job...

stopped my nemesis, a few men of his, and some other menaces,

and on my way, saved an old lady gettin' robbed

but fuck, this costume's itchy, and plus, it's a tad too silly

it's also quite thrilling, and stopping these murderous villains makes me a damn killing,

You'd think Super Strength would make me happy

But goddamned Superman surpassed me.

soon I will get revenge,

I'll marry Lois Lane and then murder all his super friends

So kids, don't miss the next issue, I'll be breaking into this bitch's igloo,

looking for a zone I can kick this fuckin' dick into.

Meanwhile, back at the Batcave, Robin is massagin' out Batman's back ache.

Alfred's gone senile, but Gotham is awesome 'cause now you're not allowed out that late.

And it's all thanks to me,

stopped impending doom in an afternoon, soon I gave an amazing speech,

and they raised a statue in my stature to commemorate my actions, too.

Anyways, where's Aquaman when you need'em?

Oh wait, you don't, any damn air-breathin' heathen can defeat 'im

A man that fishy is iffy, we oughta just fry him up and eat him.

I wonder why wonder woman's actin' like such a bitch,

She used the lasso, but called me an asshole when I said to suck my dick

And if you though that was quick, Don't even get me started on The Flash,

I dusted his ass so fast in the hundred thousand meter dash that even Green Lantern laughed

Turns out, he'd been doping from the get-go,

I tried to help, but the Justice League had him let go

I mean, what can you do?

First this, now Hawkman's gettin' trapped in the zoo

Bam, Wham, Pow, Boom

It's hard to stop me when I can lift ten tons

But honestly, it's all in good fun.

I'd rather not worry, take a nap on the sun

but this time Superman came back with a gun