Whacking Day

Konnichi wa bitches! I'm guttin' up a fish

Too big for its britches, and what a tasty dish

He will make, been sleepin' on him since he went and sealed his fate

He betrayed his babyface and now he's turned the heel way

Fetal ways are how he lives his life, he's like a seagull chasing

Beetle Bailey, a real feeble daisy

Dropped a bitch cause she was crazy,

Then he pulled a one-eighty, now she's his raison d'être?

He's a raisin from California, his vision's hazy

Dazin' daily, singin' praise for his favourite lady

When I say lady, I use the term loosely,

And when I say loosely... you know what I mean :-)

He's an unfriendly ghost, hoes come before bros

But moreso, his ass reminds me of Kevin Sorbo

Not a strong man, he just plays one on T V

Aw shit, I couldn't manhandle such a sweet pea!

 

I'm done listenin'

To all this bitchin'

Time for action,

"Gentleman, start your whacking!"

How you sayin' you ready when you a tenderflake?

How you tryin' to be heavy when you a featherweight?

Sleep in the bed you made, that's your final resting place

Today's the day you pass away, this is whacking day

 

I don't mean to be cruel, but all offense is intended

Used to think you were cool, then your testicles re-ascended;

You balled up. I used to muse about wingin' you

To show me a thing or two about how to thrill a girl or two

So I sat shocked, beholding constant cuckolding

Cock-rolled, got hoes, no you could not hold 'em

Are you a socialist? You seem to like spreading the wealth;

Every girl I ever saw you with was fucking someone else!

You ain't never had no girl for yourself - oh, wait!

I forgot that fucking groupie that used to say y'all were soulmates?

Should've put a ring on that one, instead you chose an

Amazon mackin' on you and so sings the fat one,

It's over! You're done! Ain't shit left to talk about

Never mind the red flags, homey, you just block 'em out

Yo that's cool... hope life is peaceful and breezy

But by the way: does she know you tell people she's easy?

 

I'm done listenin'

To all this bitchin'

Time for action,

"Gentleman, start your whacking!"

How you sayin' you ready when you a tenderflake?

How you tryin' to be heavy when you a featherweight?

Sleep in the bed you made, that's your final resting place

Today's the day you pass away, this is whacking day

 

How'd you do your best friend like that?

Disloyal, fool-ass, bitch-made sissy?

Fuck this ain't my fight, I flipped and went pithy

Up on this fucking beat, like some shit from Sim City

I think it's time to make a plane crash

Try for payback, I'll fucking maim your tame ass

Ain't that some shit, sum bitch, hate rap?

Lay back, shut the fuck up, roll a jay fat

You'll need a lot of reefer to bless and keep you

Since you won't hit the reset button, and take a redo

I can play this game all day, got my little plastic piece

Picking daffy suckers off, with an endless magazine

Ain't no snakes to be found, I'm hunting un-mighty ducks

Ain't no safe high ground when I'm fucking psyches up

Bite through your tongue next time you wanna run your mouth

I just made your girl a widow before she was ever a spouse

 

I'm done listenin'

To all this bitchin'

Time for action,

"Gentleman, start your whacking!"

How you sayin' you ready when you a tenderflake?

How you tryin' to be heavy when you a featherweight?

Sleep in the bed you made, that's your final resting place

Today's the day you pass away, this is whacking day